Scars

Hi swya31 

It's natural that your eyes are drawn to your scar because you know it's there and you want to see how it's looking but you'll probably find that other people hardly notice it. I had a long scar on my upper left arm after my WLE but now it's a faint, flat line that you can barely see.

When I went for my post surgery check-up my wound was very noticeable as it was raised and fat but I was assured that this would gradually improve and it did. The SCNS advised me to massage the wound with a moisturizer, something like E45, a couple of times a day. She said this would both improve the appearance of the scar and 'teach' that area of my skin to feel again, as it was quite numb.

Until the appearance of my scar started to improve, I wore tops that covered it if I was going out somewhere where I didn't need to be completely covered to protect myself from the sun.

I hope this helps

Hi – I don't have a WLE scar on my lower arm – my really noticeable scars (even the hospital photographer commented "I can see they've had a go at you" LOL) are on my back! However, I do have three relatively small scars (the result of burns) on my lower arm and wrist which my eye is drawn to a lot and can be annoying.

Eye-catching wrist-bands or bracelets can help draw the eye away from the scar; or you can get a small sleevelet covering it completely so you aren't restricted to long-sleeved tops. However, the long-sleeved tops may be the best option in the short term as it can be important to keep new skin completely out of the sun (new skin can sometimes be sensitive to sun-cream) to minimise scarring.

Sending you empathy and a hug. x

Hi, sorry to be late in responding to your post. I had my WLE and SLNB at the beginning of August last year and I can certainly empathise with you regarding an ugly scar. My scar is right across the bend in my elbow it is raised, knobbly and hard along with constant burning and tingling sensation. I can’t offer any comfort other than just remember that an ugly scar is better than the risk of the melanoma spreading. Use lots of moisturising cream or Vaseline and if you can’t bear to look at it (as I can’t!) long sleeves is the way to go. I have bought lots of pretty long sleeve blouses and dresses which has helped. Good luck and I hope your scar improves as time goes on.

A month later and I’m still struggling but at least I can touch it more now and look after it!

thankfully some of the fashion is longer sleeved and I’m finding pretty cardigans/lightweight jackets to give me a choice if I show it or not. I’m trying to give myself peace that in a few months time it’ll be fainter. 

I think my teenage son reacting in shock wasn’t helpful the first time I forgot  I had a scar  I couldn’t be angry or upset because he’s young and I’m his mum and who wants to see their mum like this.

thanks for your reply. I’m sorry I didn’t reply straight away I think I was still in the fog of learning more about the next steps but I am very grateful x

Thank you for your response. You are right in a scar being a positive over melanoma. Trying to be kind to myself and that it’ll fade but to fade time has to pass. I’m hopefully in a years time I’ll be friends with it a bit more and not care so much x 

Swya31, I quite understand what you are saying about scars. In Jan 23 I had a benign lump removed from my parotid gland, which was just in front of my left ear. The Scar runs from thr top of my left ear, down the front of my ear and then goes down the back of my ear, so you can imagine quite a big scar. My surgeon though worked miracles, I can hardly see any scar now in front of my ear, but scars behind my ear are still noticeable, but not as much. My surgeon after the surgery recommended a scar gel to use which I started to use 6 weeks after surgery, I used it twice a day for about 8 months. Scar hasn’t gone but it’s certainly flatter and less red now, I am happier than I’ve ever been. All my friends say they cant even see my scar and shouldn’t worry about it. It’s a reminder that we all went through something brave and you’ll feel better about it. If you want the name of the scar gel that my surgeon recommended and I used, please PM. Take care. Forgot to mention I saw my surgeon last Fri for a follow up and he told me that it’s healed very well, and doesn’t need to see me again.

Good to hear from you again and pleased that you can at least touch the scar now and look after it. Also that you have been able to find some fashionable and pretty items to wear over it. 

Scars do change but sometimes things get worse before they get better – I had a large keloid on my back which has changed over quite a long period of time – raised for many years before flattening and becoming fainter. No one suggested moisturising that one but the surgeon did offer plastic surgery which my mother refused without consulting me!!

E45 as suggested by the skin cancer nurses did improve a raised scar on my tummy which is barely noticeable now (though the dent is a bit bothersome).

If you find the scar continues to bother you please do mention it to your consultant as there are other things that can help – my daughter was given personalised advice re scar plasters but there are other options besides this – need to check with team regarding most appropriate options for you personally. 

As for your son, well children do blurt things – my daughter dealt with that one by naming her scar so that her children made friends with it (she chose an animal type which the scar reminded her of but other people sometimes use names etc). Your son is older than her children, however. But we all know how overly conscious of things teenagers can be. The things my brothers said to me when I we were teens – and not just about my scars ... Boys! But also your son would have been simply registering the fact that you had something done which was more than he had thought – a real not trivial thing – as much as the look of it. And I don't think it will bother him over time.

My daughters don't react at all now because they all have scars of their own. (LOL) Thankfully FAMMM syndrome is pretty rare so our familial experience – we're all in the same boat – is rare. 

So, provided the scar is well covered it may well be fainter. Make the mistake of exposing it to the sun, however – I did that with some scars – and with the area around it all brown, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear ... Be careful the cardigans got a strong enough weave if that's what you are relying on. 

Hope I haven't rambled too much. You've made heaps of progress! Sending hugs and a very well done xxx

Hi Swaya31

I had melanoma on my left shoulder, I'm the same finding it bit hard to deal with tge scar. I've tried talking to family and friends I get your lucky think of what could of happened it could of been a lot worse and it doesn't look too bad, I get why they say them things and I am lucky but I don't think they get how it makes me feel, I have a scar and a bit that sits on my shoulder like a proud nipple..that's the only way I can describe it, I was told the medical term is "dog ear" I'm telling you that is no dog ear...I try to laugh about it calling it a nipple but I find pulling my tops over so it can't be seen, and making sure I wear tops that cover it.

Hopefully in time I will become at peace with my new nipple on my shoulder or it will go down.

I home me telling you about my nipple has made you smile xx

I think i am work in progress with coming to term with it being there on my body.  Yesterday i forgot to put my jacket on got out the car realised, panicked and got back in the car to put a jacket on to hide it! I think its the question of 'what's that' that i am trying to avoid.  I don't want to keep replying- its from cancer purely because people don't really know how to react and also its still a little raw that i have found myself on this journey with cancer.  

A nipple did make me smile.  I say that my L shape scar would have been better on my left arm to help with being directionally challenged! trying to find some humour  

Thank you! I have my first follow up in May i will ask re the scar plasters.  I have seen them but wasn't too sure about the effectiveness. I have bulk bought factor 50+ ready for the brighter days so will be slathering it everywhere i can! I have a friend in Australia who has sent me links to the UV clothing, debating on whether to buy something to trial for the summer over the scar! I am being more open with it around the house, but failing outside! Giving myself the next few months to try small activities with it on show to test out my confidence and the un-tactfulness of strangers