3.9mm superficial Melanoma

Hi Simon,

So sorry to hear your news. It sounds like you're very anxious right now, which is completely understandable, but I don't think your doctor meant that you only had five or ten years left to live. He was probably talking about survival rates which sound alarming but are kind of complicated to understand. My mother's diagnosis was worse than yours two years ago, and she's still here, currently NED, although we're waiting for news of her next scan on Friday. There are lots of things that contribute to a worse prognosis for melanoma and size is just one of them. My grandmother had a very large superficial melanoma decades ago and it hadn't spread to her lymph nodes and never recurred. She lived for many years afterwards and didn't die of melanoma or any cancer.

Also, I'm assuming you haven't had immunotherapy or targeted drugs yet if yours hasn't been confirmed to have spread? People have such fantastic responses to these treatments. There are many people at Stage IV who live for a long time or even become NED for the rest of their lives (although, I don't think they are ever considered cured at that stage).

Please have hope and try not to panic. It's such a scary time but you're at the worst point of it, when you're waiting for answers and you're just wrapping your head around this stuff. It will feel better.

I hope that helps x

Hi again.

The Melanoma was in my upper thigh.

I keep keep getting funny feelings in my arm pits, so I think it has spread

Also I keep feeling to see if my lymph nodes have swollen, but not sure what I am feeling for.

It is sore to press them though where ever they are in my armpits.

Thank you

Simon

If your melanoma was on your thigh then the lymph nodes that would be affected would be in your groin not your armpit.

Hi Pip93.

I am so sorry, I was being very selfish on my earlier reply, forgive me, my head is all over the show.

I am really happy to hear your mother has come to through ok and i hope there will be many more years aged of her.

Just wish I could call down, all I can think about is leaving my family in the next few weeks / months.

Many apologies again.

Thank you.

Simon.

Thank you Latchbrook.

My head is everywhere, I just keep worrying that I will be leaving my family soon.

Like I said it was 3.9mm so it was a big one and I am sure it must have spread to my lymph nodes.

Thank you.

Simon.

Hi Simon,

You have nothing to apologise for. I wasn't offended at all, and I know this must be so hard and stressful for you right now. It sounds like you're in a headspace where there's not a lot anyone can say to make you feel better. I hope you find a bit of peace with everything - for my family, we all felt much calmer after we'd spoken to the consultant for the first time and had a full picture of what was happening.

If it makes you feel any better, my mother's melanoma had spread to her lymph nodes in her armpit. She had the cancer surgically removed, then had a course of immunotherapy to help prevent it coming back, and we were told that she had an 80% chance of living a completely full and normal life from that point on - for most people, after that, it doesn't come back. So, even if you do have spread, it definitely doesn't mean that you will die. Honestly.

I really hope you feel better soon.

Pip x

Hi Pip.

Thank you for understanding.

It is a really heart warming story to know that your mother is living a normal life and hopefully more years to come.

Thank you Pip.

Take care

Simon x

 Grinch 

Hi Simon

It's natural to catastrophize, we're all guilty of doing it, but you need to take everything one step at a time and stop assuming the worst is going to happen.

You have just been diagnosed with melanoma which is a big thing to get your head around. I doubt that there's anyone here who hasn't assumed the worst but you need to find a way of dealing with this. I found that by doing things that I enjoyed it stopped me from just sitting and worrying. Lots of people find mindfulness really useful and, if this is something that interests you, clicking here will take you to more information about it.

The next step is to prepare for the WLE and possible SLNB. You can do this by eating healthily and exercising but you also need to prepare mentally. 

I think that everyone who's replied to you has pointed out that a melanoma diagnosis doesn't mean that you're going to automatically die anytime soon but you don't seem to be able to take that on board, even though we're all living proof, and just keep stating that you'll be "leaving your family soon".

I think that you'd benefit from talking to the nurses on the Macmillan Support line. You can reach them on 0808 808 0000, every day of the week from 8am to 8pm. Please pick up the phone now and give them a call. This constant anxiety you have about leaving your family, whilst understandable, isn't doing you any good. 

Macmillan offer up to 6 free counselling sessions through Bupa for people who are struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. To find out more, and to apply for these counselling sessions, click here.

There are lots of resources to help you through this and speaking to your GP is another avenue. 

I do hope that you will look at these suggestions I've made and, even better, act on them as living in this constant state of high anxiety won't be doing you any good.

Hi I felt just like you when I was diagnosed in july with 2mm melanoma consultants dont tell you much. I had wle skin graft on foot and slnb in groin in mid August and still worried as still not received slnb results nearly 7 weeks later I am suppose to get an appointment by end of this week as asked cns nurse at my last check up appointment but I guess consultant strikes have delayed it.  Waiting for results is worst than the treatment.

Hi Miss Mole.

Thank you for your reply.

Yes waiting for the results is a terrible thing.

Is messed with my mental health, my appetite and my sleep, and i still feel the same now I have my answer about it being melanoma.

I wish you all the very best for the future and hope things go well for you.

Simon.