Dermascope

Hi Simon,

My imagination runs away with me too. Every tiny ache is fuel for the the wildest ideas but ideas and thoughts are not facts. Before you start worrying, always ask yourself whether you are dealing with a fact or a thought.

For the moment, the only fact you have in this story is that you have a diagnosis of melanoma. The rest is speculation. After only a biopsy it is impossible to know whether the cancer has spread. 

You asked the doctor about the prognosis in the event of the cancer being widespread and he gave you the current statistics. I am surprised at the 10 year figure. If the cancer is local and totally removed, most people never get a recurrence or if they do it is caught early. Even if the cancer is in the lymph nodes there are treatments available now. Melanoma is not the threat it once was. Serious of course but not hopeless. I was initially petrified after my diagnosis and sure that I was dying. Since then I've met and heard of many melanoma survivors. My fears were totally unjustified.

You could ask your doctor for medication to help with sleep while you go through this difficult period. Or, if you don't want to go down that road, while you lie awake think of nice memories, happy events in your life, special places and people.

Another thing you might find helpful is not to tell everyone you meet about your diagnosis. That way you have some melanoma-free space in your life where you can talk about other things. You can tell them later if you wish. People will understand that it's a hard subject to talk about, especially at first.

Take care

Miranda

Hi Miranda.

Thank you for putting up with me.

I am so worried that I will not be here for my wife and our 3 boys this time next year or even earlier.

It was superficial Melanoma 3.9mm which is BIG.

I have only told my wife, boss and my sister about this, not even told our boys as it would devastated that they will lose their dad in the next few months or a year or so.

I wish I was a strong person like you.

Tomorrow I have got a day off work as advised by my boss, if it's nice I will mow the lawn or watch a film with our youngest son.

Just feel like giving up already.

Thank you again Miranda.

Simon x

Hi Grinch 

I'm so sorry to read that your fears have been justified and that you've been diagnosed with melanoma. However, please don't write yourself off just yet! At the moment you've been diagnosed with melanoma and that depth will put you at Stage 2. This is the same as I was staged at 7 years ago and I'm still going strong 

You said that your doctor has mentioned a plastic surgeon along with scans, etc. The plastic surgeon is the normal person that would do the wide local excision (WLE), which is the follow-up operation that everyone who has a melanoma diagnosis has. Basically it's the same procedure as the biopsy excision you've already had. The surgeon will take away an extra margin of tissue all around the original excision area to make absolutely sure that no cancer cells have been left behind.

Will you also be having a sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) at the same time? If so I've had this procedure and I'm happy to share my experience with you if you want to know more.

I really don't know why you've been told that if the melanoma has spread you will only have 5 years to live and only 10 years to live if it hasn't spread. As previously mentioned, I was diagnosed with melanoma 7 years ago and I certainly don't have any intention of only living for another three. I wonder if you've misinterpreted what you've been told. Cancer survival statistics are usually reported for numbers up to 5 years and numbers up to 10 years. 

The current survival rates, as provided by Cancer Research, show that for people whose melanoma has not spread then 8 out of 10 (80%) will still be alive after 5 years and for people whose cancer has spread 70%, or 7 out of 10, will still be alive at the 5 year mark. Also 85% of all people who are diagnosed with melanoma, whether it's spread or not, will still be alive after 10 years or more. If you want to see these statistics for yourself just click here.

It looks like you've had quite a day as I can see that you were posting over in the bladder cancer group that you've had a CT scan this morning. Did you go from one appointment to the other? I'm glad that your wife was with you at the hospital when you had your scan and I'm assuming she was still there with you when you were given your diagnosis of melanoma. 

I notice that you posted in the bladder cancer group that you are spending hours late at night googling about bladder cancer so can I echo what you're being advised in that group and that's to stay off Google! Google is not your friend and will not provide you with the reassurance that you're looking for. Real people here in this group and the bladder cancer group will tell you as it is, answer any questions honestly and share real experiences with you. We will also support you the best that we can. Google cannot do any of these things but it will feed your anxiety and give you false information.

Miranda2 has given you lots of really good advice already and I hope you'll feel able to follow it.

Hi Latchbrook.

Thank you for getting back to me.

Been whirlwind of a day.

The hospital doctor who called with the results did mention SLNB but I must admit my head was all over the show.

My wife and me are in another world at the moment, as I reckon I will not be here this time next year or even earlier.

My wife and our boys are going to lose there dad very soon.

Yes, l got sent for another referral for a CT scan on my bladder about a week after my biopsy for the mole which is now been confirmed as superficial Melanoma

3.9mm is very BIG and I just feel like giving up.

Thank you.

Simon.

Hi Simon my mum had melanoma on her face over 30 years ago 

she still her at 80 years old just to give you hope and your family 

I have melanoma as well had my WLE today and hoping for a good outcome 

best wishes to you from me 

Hi Obi H.

Thank you for your reply.

It is great to hear that mum is still here with us and hopefully for more years to come.

I really hope you get the all clear as well.

Mine is / was 3.9mm so it is big and I don't think I will be around very long at all.

I wish I could be optimistic but I just feel like I have now given up on trying to be.

Will be up all night worrying.

Thank you Obi H.

Simon.

Hi Simon

I am so sorry tonhear you have had the positive melanoma diagnosis, I to am going through it right know. 1.2 mm deep waiting on WLE and SLNB which will hopefully be soon. I can totally relate to the worry you are having, I have 2 girls who are my world and having them makes the worry so much tougher but as a dad yourself you will know our fight through all of this is well worth every punch we take for our kids. I can only wish you every best outcome possible but don't give up please. You are under the umbrella the professionals give us and take spirit that they will do everything possible to help us all the best they can. Message me anytime for a chat if it helps you, we are both in a similar boat. The tides will be rough at times but with help from everyone involved we shall both find the port we dream of through all the mist that is thrown our way in this journey 

Ryan 

Hi Ryan.

Thank you for getting in touch.

So sorry to hear that you have also been diagnosed with Melanoma.

There are alot of lovely, understanding, helpful  people on this forum.

Please do not go down the route of Google like I have, honestly it's really not good for your mental health etc, I am very slowly realising it's not the way to go.

People on here are very helpful and informative and I would like to thank them all from the bottom of my heart for there patience and understanding.

Lots of people are telling me that there are alot of new treatments etc for curing this cancer, I am hoping they are right for all of us and our families.

I also wish you the very best for the future.

Take care and keep in touch Ryan.

Simon.

It's natural to want to do some homework and goggle is so accessible to us all. I have found out alot to be honest from some of my own research on google but also it has scared the crap out of me at times reading up aswell. A few things the doctors have told me to keep an eye our for, is swollen lymph nodes check you body everywhere, they will feel like small peas the lumps on the glands. Also fatigue, everyone is different but if you're feeling energised mowning the lawn and not shattered after doing so that is a decent thing and loss of weight, if you lose dramatic weight in a short period of time then let you doctor know quickly. That's just a few things to keep an eye on and one thing my doctor prescribed is ironically Vitamin D tablets, he said a little bit of study shows Vitamin D helps with melanoma. The irony is alot of skin cancers is from the sun which supplies us with Vitamin D we need, who would have thought hey hahaha. Stay strong and fight every punch thrown 

Ryan

Hi Ryan.

I was a bit tired after doing the lawn, but not shattered.

Have lost a bit of weight, but not sure if that is because of my worry / anxiety.

4 weeks ago my family and me were all inclusive  in Lanzarote and we had wonderful time, my appetite was good, if fact too good.

We arrived back on the 9th September, I had my biopsy on the 12th September and I went on a downer straight away, i turned 100% from really happy to like a recluse in my own mind, I also went right down mentally and physically etc, so put the weight loss down to that, as the day before and on hols my appetite was excellent and I was eating like a mad man.

I saw the doctor today who was very understanding and listened to everything I said.

Me and my wife have been taking vitamin D for a few years now as well.

Cheers Ryan.

Simon.