Awaiting results!

Hi CMN22.  I’m a few weeks behind you as have my consultation for my WLE and SLNB this Thursday so I hope others can come along and give you some reassurance.  All I would say is, when I got the call to go in and get the results after my 2 suspicious moles were removed I was a complete nervous wreck.  Then I worked through in my mind what all the possible outcomes could be and once I’d got my head around them, I felt much calmer and able to cope. It turned out one was an in situ and one a 1b and I felt strangely relieved to find out and to hear what would happen next.  Could you use a similar approach and think through the worst and best case scenarios and what could then happen next? Keep busy if you can (easier said than done, I know!) I’ve found myself going through lots of old posts on here which I’ve found quite helpful too (once I’d got my head around the fact that probably a lot of people who have clear results, don’t always feel the need to stick around and contribute)  

Hopefully others will be able to give you some first hand tips (which I’ll find useful too!) xx

Hello CMN22 and welcome to our group.  It is the worst bit really, the waiting.  Covid has added to the delays for sure so the estimated time you've got to wait is normal for now.

There's no magic answer sadly, sorry.  I was diagnosed last spring and had a long wait til July for the surgery then another long wait til my treatment started. 

I just tried to keep really busy and tire myself out.  I thought of the worst case scenario and chose a couple of songs for my wake party.  My 21 year old daughter said she would do a speech using only song lyrics as I'm a bit of a song and lyric nerd!

Then I just couldn't keep up every day thinking it was my last so I switched off and got really busy on my alottment!

Luckily for me it was peak growing and watering time so that helped.  Try not to Google anything as all the info varies and you can scare yourself silly.   I did find it a motivator to clearing out various ornaments from our flat so that's a positive.  Still doing that.  It certainly can make you rethink your priorities in life.  

I wish you some good sleep and not too much worrying time hon xx

Hi CMN22 and Tinkerbell, waiting for result or treatment to start, or just waiting in general can be stressful. I think the first thing that helped me was to know that it’s normal to feel that way, I found it harder to accept anxiety if I saw it as abnormal, but easier to accept and deal with if I saw it as normal to feel anxious but normal to not want to feel that way. I found it good to think of ways to cope as being a tool box that I would have to dip into at various times, knowing when those times might be and having as many tools as possible in there is what I found I needed. 

I think everyone has a starting tool box perhaps things they used when they were younger when waiting for exam results. I think that’s my first go to, know the date you aren’t looking forward to and park the thoughts associated with that day and try and get on with life. 4-6 weeks has always been the norm for the 6 years I’ve been on the forum.

Another step is to allow myself to look into what I’m not looking forward to and write those things down. I found if I had a worry list the worries didn’t actually get bigger or larger in number they just became repetitive. One step for me was to lessen the amount of time spent on worry and that’s how the list helped, bullet points on the worries not a big essay and only allow a 10 to 20 minute time in the day to worry. 10 to 6 was a good time while I was cooking and had to finish the worry time as I was then going to eat, hopefully something nice. Much better to worry at that time than last thing at night when you can’t then sleep, as long as it doesn’t ruin the meal and set off indigestion ! 

The looking at what I’m not looking forward to sometimes can lessen the worry when I’ve sorted it out in my mind, it gives a bit of control back which can help. Finding more about melanoma and it’s treatment and also about anxiety and methods that help. That doesn’t work for everyone hence the advice not to google. I happen to think we must all have googled to get to this forum so how can googling be bad ! I found a lot of good info in the information and support pages on here, Cancer Research, melanoma focus and the NHS site. 

I know in the past when I felt stressed my go to distraction was exercise, a walk or a team sport, and allotment lover has her allotment.  If not that TV was good, then I would find just how many story lines have cancer in them and how many adverts were for wills, funeral plans, Macmillan, Cancer Research, etc etc. How annoying those things were, were a barometer to how I was feeling and coping. Music I found could be uplifting, great at lifting the mood having a happy play list, sometimes though music lyrics can be a real downer lyrics about couples breaking up, leaving, bringing up emotions not wanted or sometimes bring a laugh about how inappropriate they might be at a funeral. 

For me I knew I needed more help when the TV got to me. I have just remembered I did a trial of a sort of computer worry diary for Sue Ryder I had to record how I felt during the day and what I’d done that way it kept track of what lifted my mood and when it might get low. I think it might have been that that made me plan in a nice thing to do on every hospital visit day. My more help came in the form of accepting a referral for counselling it was offered by my GP and by Macmillan, on this site they currently offer a free BUPA 6 weeks course you could give the support line a ring to discuss it. Macmillan also has telephone buddies that might help to off load, and I noticed it also recommended a cognitive behavioural app. Sometimes we get into the habit of worrying and think worrying is good as it protects us as we have already planned for the worst case scenario. It can also make us blinkered to the best case scenario to which is not good, but at some point we get fed up of worrying as the worst may never happen and then we have wasted so much time being miserable. Tinkerbell has said about looking at both sides, and allotment lover has mentioned that she hit the getting fed up stage. 

When I was heading for another set of blips in treatment and knew exercise might not be my best tool in the tool box I did a Macmillan HOPE course to see if there was anything else I could add in. They did a section on mindfulness and there are lots of apps on that the NHS list a few CALM comes to mind and also headspace. Mindfulness and meditation doesn’t come easily to me, I’m not a sit still and relax person, I’d rather multitask when watching tv. I found that Netflix had Headspace with pictures and that suited me better. 

The HOPE course also tuned me in to remembering and recording 3 good things every day, and sometimes I’ve started a post on here for people to add there’s. At the height of when things seemed to be going wrong it easy for your head to be filled with bad thoughts but good things have happened to it might be just as simple as a lovely cloud formation or rainbow you noticed, a cuddle or smile from someone close to you, or you may have set yourself a goal that you achieved. If you haven’t set a goal or done anything new lately it starts you thinking along the lines of being kind to yourself. We often are kind to others but apply different rules to ourselves ! 

I hope you find your way through the wait as it will be useful for every follow up appointment that you have to. I’ve had no primary so no WLE and SLNB but I’ve had lots of waiting for scans and their results. 

Thank you all so much for the advice. Xxx

Hi CMN22

I'm just checking in to see how you're doing and to see if you've had your results back yet?

x

Hi latchbrook

thank you for checking in! I’m over the moon to say I have had my results and they were all clear! So I have the 3 monthly checks for the next 3 years then 6 monthly for the last 2 but I am so relieved there was no further spread!! X

CONGRATULATIONS!! 

That's great news CMN22! I hope you had a little celebration 

CMN22 what wonderful news️

I'm so pleased for you.  I hope you have a great weekend celebrating xx

Fantastic news CMN22 so pleased for you,!