32 YO waiting for results, expecting the worst

Hi again Ashsi

Waiting for results is really horrible and we all have different ways of coping. I found that immersing myself in things I enjoy doing ie. hobbies, meeting friends, etc took my mind away from the 'what ifs'. Other people find mindfulness really helpful and if this is something that you'd like to try then clicking here will take you to the NHS page where you can download apps, some of which are free.

Also, try to just take one step at a time. At the moment you don't know if this mole will be melanoma or not. I've had two moles removed. The first one the dermatologist didn't think would be melanoma but it turned out to be and the second one, which the dermatologist thought was highly suspicious, turned out to be a slightly abnormal mole. So there's really no way to know for certain until the pathology labs report back.

Please, please, please stay away from google! We've all done it, gone on looking for reassurance but only finding horror stories. Don't get me wrong google can be very useful for finding information but you need to be careful which sites you look at as some of the information and stats can be way out of date. If you want to ask anything please post here and there's a good chance that one of us will have been there, read the book and bought the tee-shirt!

You've said that you're "highly depressed" so I'm wondering if you've spoken to your GP about how you're feeling at the moment? They should be able to suggest ways for you to cope while going through this waiting period. You might also want to take a look at this article on how to ease worry when waiting for the results of medical test results as it explores topics like 'why we assume the worst' as well as coming up with practical ways to cope.

Sending a virtual (((hug)))

Hi,

Thank you so much. It's so good to hear from someone with context of what I'm going through. Appreciate you taking the time to write this. I'm going to try my best to focus on the here and now and stay off Google. I shall also read the article you've shared. 

Once I have my results I'll update this post. In the meantime I'm sure I'll have further questions. 

Thanks so much.

Hi Ashsi,  

I’m not sure I can offer much in the way of reassurance or help in coping with waiting but I can completely understand how you feel as I am in an almost identical situation.

I’m 39 and I have two children (9 and 12) as well as three step children (10, 10 abs 13) who lost their own mum to cancer I noticed a small, blood blister-y, looking spot on the back of my left knee early this year (I can’t tell you exactly when as I ignored it for a while before I became concerned). Over the last few months it grew to around 0.5cm, became significantly raised, changed colour from reddish to nearly black and just looked “wrong”. 

I eventually went to my GP in late August, he shared my concern and referred me to dermatology. I’m on Scotland and we don’t have the 2 week initial appointment for suspected cancer but I was seen on 15th September and very quickly told that it could be malignant melanoma and would have to come out and that I was being put on the Urgent Suspected Canger pathway. None of this really surprised me as I was already sure it looked wrong enough that it would need to come out.

I had an elliptical excision biopsy on 28th September (17 days ago). They removed quite a big area (I naively thought it would just be a small hole with maybe one stitch) and I had six stitches. It’s, unfortunately, not healing very well, I think in part due to where it is as it’s hard not to bend my knee. I am now on antibiotics for infection and I’ve had to very thoroughly steri strip it closed as it was opening back up.

Ironically the stress of the not healing excision is taking my mind of the worry of the results. I’ve also been told 6 weeks but I believe in practice it might be a bit quicker than that. 

It’s so hard to stop my mind wandering to the worst case scenario as I am a very logical person and like to be prepared for what might need to happen next but the problem with that is, once I think of the next step it’s easy to keep going! 

I have also convinced myself I have symptoms that may indicate that it has spread, mainly a pain in my right side (liver) but I’m putting this down to just not drinking enough water!! 

I am very much trying to stay  from Google but it really is hard during this long waiting time. 

Please try not to feel depressed but if you feel like you need help please speak to your GP, I’m sure they will be really supportive. Try to immerse yourself in your family while the wait continues, that’s definitely helping me. 

Take care.

Hi

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I truly hope your results are benign. Sounds like you're staying fairly distracted from your results. It's very hard not to be hyper sensitive about ever ache and pain. I know I am.

Please update once you have your results.

I can totally relate, my story is there for you to read ( if you like). 
The best day I have had in the last 8 months was the day I got the “ clear ct scan “ phone call. As like you as soon as I Heard the word melanoma my mind went to a dark place . Every ache or pain was cancer in my head . It’s so tough mentally but google had me stir crazy so the best advice I have is please don’t google. Take it from someone who has read every statistic, article and horror story online x 

Hi all, 

I wanted to update this post as I know often they go un updated, particularly when there has been a positive ending. 

I received my biopsy results on Friday, to my absolute amazement I've been told there is no evidence of cancer. I'm shocked to say the least. I spoke to my gp following the results,  he was very surprised too. He said he was certain it was a melanoma  as it had all the characteristics. 

I'm not clear just yet, I need to have further tests as I have a hard lump behind my ear and lump on my testicles (likely cysts).

Gp suggest it must be a severely dysplastic nevus? 

I'm very very relieved. Although I have further tests for other things, I was almost certain I have later stage melonoma.

This truly has been a wake up call to me. Macmillan has been a massive support to me during this period. I want to step up and fund raise on behalf and macmillan and also supporting malanoma research going forward. 

I suppose I want those who are undergoing testing to see this post and see that there is still a chance for non cancer even when all the signs point to it. Nothing is certain until a biopsy.

Particular thanks to latchbrook whos been very kind.

I've read your story. Giving you the strongest virtual hug possible. 

Hi Ashsi

That's absolutely amazing news and I hope you've had a little (or big) celebration 

Thanks for thinking about us and relaying your news as, sadly, people who receive positive news don't seem to come back and tell us. It can leave new people thinking the worst if all they can find is bad news reported after a biopsy.

I hope the lumps you're still being tested for also have an innocent explanation.

Have a great life

Take care

xx

So pleased to read your good news x 

What did the lump on your neck come back as? I had a pretty large lump on my neck and when i got moles removed about 10 years ago i asked the doctor about them and he felt it for a second and was like hmm nah you're fine. So i was stoked with the answer and being healthy. Fast forward to December of this year and I'm getting a funky mole removed on the shloulder with a different doctor and i bring up the lump on my neck and she feels around and i can see the worry on her face and after biopsies and all the fun surgeries, I'm now on immunotherapy taking pem because the cancer had spread. Hopefully all your stuff worked out ok