Waiting to see specialist for itchy scaly and tender mole

Hi ,  welcome to the community, I’m putting my positive reassuring hat on for you to say well done that you’ve spotted something and been to your GP to get it checked out. It may be nothing sinister as there is a scaly looking mole that looks like melanoma but is not, so until a biopsy is done and reported back on you unfortunately will be in a period of uncertainty. That can sometimes be 2 weeks for the referral, a wait for the surgery and then 4 to 6 weeks for the results. The exhaustion you’re feeling could just be the anxiety that you are feeling, rather than anything more sinister. It’s very easy to go down the doom and gloom route of what it could be and we have to in one way otherwise we wouldn’t get these things checked out, but it’s a really positive thing to get them checked out as the alternative is much much worse if it was found to be melanoma and wasn’t acted on, that’s because the earlier it’s found in general the better it is. 

I have found though that there is a turning point when we have to accept that staying positive during uncertainty is a skill, and it’s such a great life skill to have. So my encouragement is to find out what works for you so that you can acknowledge the fear as it’s real but not dwell on it, park it for a while and try and enjoy things, but it’s impossible to ignore totally and I hope we are here for you when you need to rant or express worries or to answer any questions you have based on our experience. 

Ive been watching neighbours for 31 years and Friday’s story line is two people waiting for news of a friend/brother missing in an avalanche. One is trying to remain really positive that no news means that he will be found safely, and the other is getting more anxious as the days pass and others are found but have sadly passed making him believe there is no hope left. The two people were getting angry at each other for having totally different view points but when they got together to talk and explain that they were both scared it made it easier for them to talk to each other and comfort each other in the wait. 

Ive found that the Macmillan section on coping has helped me at the low times. I’ll put a link in in case it helps you. 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions

I have a scan coming up soon, so I’m in a bit of a waiting period as well. 

Best wishes

Hi and thank you for the welcome. At the moment my coping strategy is sleep....when my brain shuts up for 2 minutes lol....

Having just been out and watched the Rugby with friends I'm back home and in bed. I'm obviously looking forward now to the Final next week so that gives me something to keep hold of. Thank you for the link I'm sure itll be helpful, not only for me but my wife as well. Obviously as you say it could be completely harmless and I've worried for nothing. You want to be honest and open with your family and friends but also you dont want to worry them either. I'm taking the honest and open road and take it from there.

I really hope that your scan gives you positive news too.

Hi well the Rugby must give you a real feel good factor ! , I hope that positive vibe stays for a bit longer. You have an hour longer to sleep tonight as well !! 

I suppose my coping mechanism is to keep busy so I can’t think about it mostly by walking, (hate the rain and hate it when it’s too hot and sunny) when things feel tough I make a list of worries one word only and try to just worry at a set time. Before bed is a time for positive things so I try to do a list of three things I’m grateful for or achievement or enjoyment wise. My husband got a free app called headspace ( ?) It helped him clear his mind and get to sleep. 

Best wishes

Hi....

Sorry for the delay. Didnt have a good 2 days with the M.E. I just slept basically.

However I have a referral through to Dermatology for tomorrow morning at 10.30 a.m.

Trying to decide whether to drive or get taxi...into really sure what will happen and dont want to find that I'm too sore to drive if they decide to remove the offending mole there and then.

I was due to help out at our local playgroup as usual tomorrow but obviously that will have to wait. I help look after the building were the group meets as part of my duties so yes I do like to try and be busy...but with the M.E really affecting me the last 2 or 3 weeks it's been a struggle.