Tiredness and anxiety

Hi I am the same. If you read my profile I won’t have to go into details but I am stage 4 and presently on immunotherapy treatment every 4 weeks with scans every 3 months My scan is due tomorrow and will have to wait 3 weeks for results. I am not anxious all the time and keep very busy seeing friends and going away each month for a few days. I sometimes feel I am living for each scan result. 

I am not sleeping well and had a reply from my consultant that I could take over the counter medicines like Kalms and Sleep Well spray. I tried the spray and it worked the first night but not the second. I believe I was so tired the first night that I would have slept anyway. The Kalms are only onto their second night so not sure yet how things will turn out. It doesnt help with this weather as everyone finds it hard to sleep. My husband sleeps in another room when I ask him to as I dont want to keep him awake too.

I don’t really know the answer to anxiety as I have it but keeping your mind active and doing the things you like helps. You also realise who your friends are and don’t surround yourself with negative people as this will bring you down. I have started making jewellery as a hobby My husband does jigsaws but I haven’t the patience for that but he says it helps with anxiety. I walk a lot everyday and love going into the countryside. Being ill has made me appreciate the simple things in life and I think has made me a better person. 

Saying that I sometimes feel incredibly frightened and this isn’t an easy illness to live with as there is always uncertainty.However there has been great leaps in medical science and new drugs are always coming up. I hope this is of some help and hope you realise you are not alone. Take care 

Hi Sonny09, 

what an excellent reply from lgrgdg90, I recognise so many things in that reply. I was going to do a long reply to you and then realised the time there is a live question and answer chat with the digital Macmillan nurses now, aiming at the recently diagnosed. I was thinking why not join in the conversation as you will get an immediate reply. I will look in during the day and reply a bit later with how I cope. 

Best wishes

Hi Sonny09, hey I read that you’ve had a productive day today and that you’ve been chasing up your CNS, so I hope things are going well for you. 

I had counselling for anxiety cognitive based therapy with a work book to help look at worrying and wether it was helpful. I’ve also had counselling where you just talk through your emotions and hope to reach an epiphany, I preferred the CBT type. So I write down my worries, accept that they are normal to have and can’t be dismissed totally but the time spent on them can be reduced. A Maggies centre or a talk to your GP or cancer nurse may be able to help with that. I gave myself a worry time as was suggested to me 10 mins in the day was what was wanted not at bed time, I chose 10 to six, so I could look at my list and chop the veg at the same time !! and hopefully then use the rest of the evening to think nice thinks.

So at first things are a distraction to not think about what your fears are but then they become things to enjoy. I like walking, especially with friends or family, it’s so much better than sitting down with a coffee and having to chat, that’s my theory anyway, and if you do want to chat it’s not so intense as the scenery can make things feel more positive. Music helps me as sometimes, I have been a bit Spock or Data like showing no emotions, and if you do that blocking out the worst thoughts you can’t tell where your head is. Music can then tell me where I’m at which words in a song am I listening to, and can I listen to a cheery song and it make me feel in a happier mood. In the coping section of Macmillan, and in the wellness Wednesday bits that they have on here they go through quite a lot of things that have helped people, my husband has used a mindfulness app, he used to have trouble getting to sleep, now he doesn’t think about winding down it’s just like someone switches him off ! ! 

Mindfulness is about being in the now, not worrying about what might be as it may never happen and acknowledging anything in the past has been. Breathing exercises can help sometimes if things are bad to get into the now. 

I have hit the worst of being told I’m incurable as my melanoma had spread, but been told twice that I have no measurable disease, I had a great year clear and on no treatment and I’m looking forward to that happening again for me but being clear for years next time. If things should not turn out so well, I hope I can be like my cousin who passed away in May with a different cancer a few months after her diagnosis, she made peace with what lay ahead and could reflect back that her life had been good. So I would like to spend as little time on worrying as possible and make my life something that I feel content with. At the moment that means some volunteering to help others and because I enjoy it, and eating well and exercising well to keep as healthy as possible and doing some things just for the enjoyment it brings.

I hope you find what’s best for you 

Further frustration today, chasing up my appointment with hospital, they have finally located my paperwork, but am one of a dozen people requiring the same procedure so will be middle of next week before we are scheduled, so hopefully then I will get a date for surgery  just feel in limbo, hoping to get a date for my pre op assessment they said they would be sorting out that appointment today.

It’s very natural to feel in limbo, but when you get that date, and it sound like it won’t be long now, I’m hoping things will improve for you.

Fell apart today at work, everything got too much for me, just couldn't keep the act up that I was ok, so thankfully my boss is amazing and when I had a chat they said I could go home and get myself together, if that is what I needed, it was. Thankfully my emotions have settled after a long talk with my wife(she is amazing) and have managed to get a date for my pre op assessment.

Hi sonny09, like you I try to keep smiling at work (I'm in a customer focused role meeting hundreds of people every day) but today was a day off  and instead of enjoying the day with my husband I was in bed exhausted and very tearful probably due to not sleeping and stress. I have my date to see the consultant for my pre op 2 weeks today to discuss my next surgery.. I'm both relieved I  have a date and terrified at the same time. Keep positive x

It just hits you when you least expect it, fingers crossed for you, here for you if needed

KTatHome I love that phrase “think nice thinks”! Made me smile. I’m totally stealing that!

Hi ,

 totally unintentional, I had to look back to find it ! I haven’t even got the excuse it was late at night ! It’s now made me laugh, but it is quite apt. it appears that I’m turning into my Mum who always called instructions destructions !!!.