Hi all,
I honesty don't know what to do and the anxiety is killing me.
I noticed a mole on my husband's back way back in 2021 I took a photo of it and didn't think much of it he has had it for I'd estimate 10 years, always since I've known him so it hasn't popped up from anywhere. Then after Christmas I had seen it had grown and had some black dots in.
He went to the gp who referred him to dermatology. The dermatologist looked at it and said she thought he had it from birth and she didn't see anything that made her alarm bells go off, but it was bigger than 6mm and she said she would rather take it off so it's gone and can't cause any issues.
We had photographs taken and a week ago he had it removed and he has about 15-20cm scar on his back.
I am going to bits waiting for results. As it has changed and has black dots in I am sure this is a cancer and I'm panicking it got left too long.
It doesn't bleed, is flat, and just bigger than 6mm, it has a few shades of brown and has an uneven edge.
It is 100% a cancer I just know it, I'm crying all the time, can't sleep, can't eat and I'm barely able to function.
Any advice to how to cope with this?
Thank you
Hi Lilcate and a very warm welcome to the group which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
Waiting for the results of a biopsy, whether as a patient or family member, can be a very stressful time. Although this information is designed for patients who are waiting for tests results, it can equally be helpful to their friends and family.
It's normal to feel anxious but how anxious we feel depends a lot on our personality. I'm very much a glass half full type of person and have a 'just get on with it' type of personality which made waiting for my results easier to handle. However, if you're a glass half empty type of person, or you already suffer with anxiety, then you're much more likely to find waiting very stressful.
Macmillan have this useful information on coping with anxiety and stress which you might be able to put into practice. However as it sounds like the anxiety you're feeling is impacting on your daily life, it might be a good idea to speak to your GP.
It's impossible to tell if a mole is in fact a melanoma just by looking at it so do try to put the thought that "It is 100% a cancer" to the back of your mind. I've had two moles removed. The first one the dermatologist was confident wasn't a melanoma turned out to be one, but the second which was thought to be melanoma because it had all the characteristics, wasn't. Even if your husband's mole does turn out to be melanoma then you can take comfort from the fact that it's been removed.
What sort of timeframe was your husband given for getting the results back and how is he coping?
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
