Biopsy worry

Hi Boo123 

Your worries aren't silly at all and I'd encourage you to give your SCNS a call to talk them through with her.

Do pop back and let us know what she says.

x

I was told that as I am discharged any queries even if I have another suspect mole have to go through the referral process  with the GP again. 

Ah, sorry. Didn't take onboard the fact that you've been discharged.

x

No Boo123 it's not a silly thing to imagine at all.  Sounds very normal to me.  It's great that your melanoma was an early stage, your risk of recurrence is very low as you know but it doesn't stop all that anxiety and fear before (and after) the surgery and staging. 

In fact if we did a survey of everyone who has had a cancer diagnosis the fear of it coming back is high on the list of scary thoughts I'm guessing!   We can look at the statistics on Google and reassure ourselves as much as we like but we know it can return.  What ever our staging is we are a changed person and adjust to a new start, that's a hard thing to do with what we may feel are irrational thoughts.  In time your fears will fade but you will now be vigilant for other skin blemishes and that's good.  There's different types of melanoma, not all sun related to before banning yourself to complete darkness for life check out if your type is sun related.  But take care in the sun regardless! Factor 50 always and shade mostly! 

So Boo123 take care, rest up, return to your 'new' normal life and may you be always free from the dreaded melanoma. 

Lucy x

Thank you do much for your lovely reply.

The diagnosis has changed me hugely. I was always an out door person so am finding being covered up with long sleeves and long trousers difficult to deal with. Trying to go for a walk while I am quietly boiling complete with hat is hard. I realise I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy being outside but even gardening in all my gear is difficult. 

I guess I am still learning to adjust to being out of the sun. 

I also look at each mole I have and worry. The problem being that my melanoma did not present as a worry according to dermatology. So I wonder how i am expected to know if anything else becomes an issue. 

I don't feel very brave and i have anxiety about the future and its possible return . 

Thank you again for taking the time to reply. 

Hi Boo123, another gardening person are you? 

I've an alottment too, long black leggings and an oversized man's shirt with factor 50 on every exposed but of skin plus a hat is how I dress. I've made bits of shaded areas to work in and have lots of tea breaks too!   So was your melanoma a sun related one then?  Mine was a Superficial Spreading Melanoma which is sun related (stage3c). After two years I'm not worring about more moles but am about it recurring inside me which is the way it will happen to me if it does.  I'm scanned every 4-6 months and see dermatology.  

You're right it does change us but as I said you do absorb it after a bit and stop panicking.  As for what to look out for I would try and be aware of any changes in your current moles, small skin tags, any skin lumps and of course any new ones appearing.  I would also be aware of swollen lymph glands not due to a visible illness.  The pictures of moles online  to look for can be misleading though as there are different types of melanoma that produce nodules or small pink/red so they don't look like moles at all. Basically it's anything that changes colour or size or bleeds hon.  Most of us check monthly, some take pictures everytime to compare.  If you've someone who can take pics of your back, back of legs and arms.  

I understand the feeling of not leaving it all to chance, that can be too scary so monitoring is all we can do. Mine had spread to the lymph glands and I can't know if and when any small cancer cells have swam off round my body!  But I do know life is precious and I don't want to put it on hold while I sit and wait for it to return (or not!). 

Two years have gone quickly and be reassured that we've all been through the stage you are at right now.  There's an article that one of our Champions recommends by a Dr Peter Harvey called something like ' After treatment ends-what then?'  this might help.  

Visualisation is common practice with cancer as a therapy and if you can turn your picture around to seeing all the blood you lost as the cancer cells coming out onto your skin and being cleaned away that might help.

Meanwhile anxiety is normal. Try and set yourself little projects to keep busy but add in skin checks to your life so you can feel more in control and safer.

Love Lucy x

Hi Lucy

I love my garden and I adore the countryside so want to be out as much as possible. 

They have never said why my melanlma occurred but as i was always out in the sun that is probably the cause. Used to run a lot too so skin was out in the elements daily. 

I have been discharged from dermatology so feel on my own. They said being stage 1a was very low risk so they sent me on my way. 

I have multiple skin tags and a piece of keratosis to come off. Just wish the nhs would remove them but dermatology said no they are regarded as cosmetic. 

Am trying to keep busy but it's like having a black cloud hanging over me. 

• I wish you well Lucy and thank you for taking the time to chat x

I agree with allotment lover about not putting your life on hold. My best friend died of covid, another really good friend husband dropped down dead from a heart attack aged 62, and a third friend husband has a major heart problem,  he's been given 3 - 10 years. This, along with developing melanoma has made me realise life is short. So I can either sit at home being scared about what tomorrow brings, or I can enjoy today and deal with tomorrow if it happens.,

Hi Redlis thank you for your reply.

What you are saying makes total sense. I think it's a case of seize the day!

I will slap my sun cream on and get outside. Being out in the countryside is good for my mental health and i am going to make a big effort to not get worked up if I am out in the sun. I of course will be careful but not let it rule my life.

Thank you again.

Hi Boo123 I totally relate to that! I am also outdoorsy, I was never one for sunbathing as I get too agitated but love walking for miles particularly along the coast, we have a little dog that also needs lots of walks! I like to sit out with my morning  coffee and have a wine in the evening sun.  I'm not going to be ruled by fear but will be careful so will sit under a parasol or in the shade but still be outside.  Clothing is more challenging I think! I wouldn't wear skimpy clothes anyway (I havent got the figure for that lol!) Just normal shorts and tshirt.  I've bought some long sleeve shirts and have built in applying f50 when I do my morning moisturiser.  I wear lots of hats in winter so I'm now trying to find summer ones! 

I never thought I'd be happy to see a cloudy forecast! 

X