Dad’s diagnosis

Hi JLG, we have spoken before, and I’ve given my experience so won’t repeat that. 

How do they decide what treatment, for me as my cancer was in lots of places surgery wasn’t possible it needed treatment that would reach every where, systemic treatment. Usually on tv you hear of people having chemo but that has not had good results for advanced melanoma we are lucky to get immunotherapy which helps our immune system attack the cancer.

im wondering if the link below will help

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/treatments-and-drugs/immunotherapy-for-melanoma

Opdivo and yervoy that you’ve mentioned is more commonly known as Ipilumamab and Nivolumab and is the immunotherapy that statistics show has the highest success rate for stage 4. 

Can the cancer be completely removed /cured, well surgery is seen as the gold standard of treatment I’m told because if you can cut it out and remove it it’s gone. With systematic treatments the results are measured by scans so immunotherapy can remove all the cancer that’s big enough to measure and we are monitored to catch any tiny bits left behind that start to show themselves growing later. So the word cured is sometimes used but mostly avoided, we are happy with stable when things can still be seen but aren’t growing or the even better no evidence of disease.

How do we stay positive and not think the worst, speaking just for myself, others please join in, on diagnosis and hearing less than 12 months mentioned back in 2015, I made my will, did power of attorney and claimed my work pension early, did all the worst case scenario practical things then I mourned me the things I would miss like my daughters getting married, I made a worry list and talked with my husband about him not being alone after I’m gone. Then I got fed up of first feeling no emotion, then loads of sad emotions and decided to get help with living life with incurable cancer. I had some counselling, Macmillan can help arrange that for your Dad, there might be a cancer group or centre or courses that his specialist nurses know about. I planned things to do on hospital visit days so that there was some other highlight to the day to remember other than had treatment. I found my worries were usually the same ones on my worry list, I learnt to spend less time on those worries. I had distractions to stop the worries, mindfulness to stay in the moment rather than thinking too far ahead, and acknowledged sometimes things are just harder somedays than others, until a scan shows a glimmer of hope and hope starts growing. When there’s a bad Scan well for me there are still options, but I remember the time when I wasn’t aware of any, I also remember friends and relatives who have passed since my diagnosis who’s mind just shifted to enjoying every day left. 

There is a Family and friends - Discussion Forum, that you may want to also ask that question of as well, I didn’t check if you’ve already done that. There’s also the Macmillan support line.