Recently diagnosed and scared!

Hi MaddyBTown and a very warm welcome to the online community

I'm very sorry to read that you've just been diagnosed with melanoma and it's perfectly natural to feel scared and worry that it might have spread. I was diagnosed 4 years ago with a melanoma that was 1.45mm deep, so very similar to yours, and I remember only too well how numb I felt when told the news.

I doubt there's anyone in this group, me included, who hasn't worried that the melanoma will have already spread. Like you I had a wide local excision (WLE) along with the optional sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about those procedures.

The SLNB is currently offered to anyone who's melanoma was 0.8mm deep or more. So to answer your question, no it's not being offered to you because they think it's spread but because your melanoma is a size where it can be offered. 

Having a chat with your skin cancer nurse specialist (SCNS) is a good idea. I made an appointment to speak to mine shortly after I'd been diagnosed as I'd thought of all sorts of things that I wanted to ask once I was out of the consultation. I also took the opportunity to talk to the plastic surgeon who was going to do my WLE and SLNB as I was concerned about some aspects of the SLNB and wanted to know some things before I definitely made up my mind whether to have the biopsy or not.

We all handle our diagnosis differently and whether you want to talk to your friends about it or not is entirely up to you. For me, I find I cope best by telling my close friends everything but it's perfectly fine if you don't. 

Sending ((hugs))

PS. If you want to read my story with melanoma just click on my username or photo.

Hi MaddyBTown,

I too had a 1.4 mm melanoma 4 years ago which was successfully treated. In fact, there were two different types of melanoma and a basal cell carcinoma on the same site! All well since then, I am pleased to report.

When I initially got my diagnosis I was devastated and sure that my days are numbered. It took me a few weeks before I was ready to discuss it with anyone. I needed time to process the news myself before talking about it. Also once everyone knows, melanoma becomes the major topic of discussion. I just wanted some non-melanoma space until I was ready to talk. I can well understand how you feel at the moment.

I spoke to a psychologist first and that helped. When I finally told friends and family, many of them responded with very positive stories of people they knew who had been successfully treated for melanoma. We tend to focus on the fear and the threat of dying but melanoma caught early is very treatable. Huge strides have also been made in recent years in the understanding and treatment of more advanced melanoma.

Make sure you get a good understanding of how mobile you can expect to be after your surgery so that you can organise what you need beforehand. I hope everything goes as well as possible.

Take care

Miranda

Thank you so so much latchbrook and Miranda2, you have both been so reassuring and lovely. I’m so pleased to hear you have both been successfully treated, that must be such a relief. 

There are definitely good days and bad days, and my children are a good distraction but I do really want to get my consultant appointment and get an idea of a surgery date so I can start planning some childcare. It’s so hard waiting isn’t it?

Miranda2, I really feel the same and do not want the topic of conversation with my friends to be Melanoma until I feel ready. I’m still dealing with the shock of it all. I’m sure they will be ready for me when I’m ready too. 

I’m really nervous about going under general, how did you feel about it? 

Thank you for both sharing your stories,

Maddy

I clicked to your profile and read your story latchbrook, thank you so much for sharing. 

 MaddyBTown

I agree that all the waiting is really hard Maddy and I think you need to employ distraction techniques to get through. However, I guess having 2 young children gives you a ready made distraction!

I was very nervous about having a general anaesthetic (GA) as I'd never had one before. I think what worried me the most was the thought of having a canula in the back of my hand as I'm a bit squeamish with that sort of thing.

On the day of my operation the surgeon and anaesthetist came to speak to me before I went to theatre to explain what would happen. I told the anaesthetist what was scaring me and he was really reassuring and told me that this was what most people worried about.

In the end I found the insertion of the canula was nothing to worry about. As for the GA, one minute I was lying there thinking 'this isn't making me feel sleepy' and the next minute I was waking up in the recovery room!

Let us know when you have a date and feel free to ask any questions in the meantime.

x

Hi again MaddyBTown,

My surgery was on my cheek and very close to my eye. I was so relieved that they offered me a general anaesthetic and it went fine. I've had several generals and they all went well.

Where is your melanoma situated?

Make the most of the good days and look for the silver lining on the bad days. I'm sure your little ones put a smile on your face a hundred times a day!

Take care

Miranda

Thanks so much again latchbrook and Miranda2. I am quite nervous about the GA as I do not like needles and hospital environments. I had to have a c-section back in September and they really struggled to get the cannula in and it then ended up falling out and they had to do it again. It made me very faint! I am also worried about leaving my baby for the first time as he is currently exclusively breastfed. I guess as soon as I know when the surgery will be I can start to make more solid plans. The other annoying thing is having to isolate 12 days before the surgery due to Covid. That will be very hard as this is the time you need distractions the most!

The melanoma is on my leg so it will make it tricky walking. I guess after a week or so the pain and movement feels a bit better?

xx

Hi Maddy 

I just read your post and wanted to welcome you to the group too and say that they have really helped me and you’ve done such a good thing reaching out.

I was so nervous about my WLE and SNLB and like you had to isolate for a time before my surgery. I hope you have managed to speak to your specialist nurse, they have been very good for me. The Macmillan helpline has also been fantastic when I (and my husband) have needed someone to talk to - I remember one afternoon it all got too much and I went for a walk and just sat and cried down the phone to the person on the support line. Within 15 minutes I felt so much better and we ended up laughing and I walked home feeling like some of the burden I was carrying had been shared. I have also had some counselling from a local cancer charity - but you do what is right for you. 

I’m 4 months into my treatment now and I have to say the main thing I have learnt is to take each day as it comes snd you go with how you feel and what feels right for you. It’s a difficult time and it’s natural to be worried, be easy on yourself and honestly, this group really helped me so if you need people who understand we are all here xx 

Hello JosieK, thanks for replying to my message. It is so good to hear from so many lovely people in this community.

I have definitely felt the same as you and have had long cries. My husband is totally shocked by it all too and thankfully he managed to speak to a Macmillan nurse who explained all about the surgery which really made things better. I don’t think I am quite ready to speak in length about it yet but soon I’m sure. It’s great there are so many options of having someone to chat too. We are also waiting to speak to my SCSN to chat more about my specific diagnosis but she is very busy and won’t be available to chat until Friday. I am also awaiting and chasing an appointment with the consultant about the surgery. They said it could be 6 weeks until I see a consultant and then it will be up to 3 months after that until I can get booked into surgery. I really hope I don’t have to wait that long though. It feels like endless waiting and wondering doesn’t it? 

Really trying to take each day as it comes. Thanks again for all your lovely messages.

Xx