Afraid of what's ahead

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Hi, I haven't been on much but need to chat, I was just diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma March this year, have been on watch and wait. Was in hospital in June for while after a got a virus which sent everything every shape, prior to my hospital stay my bloods were steady and I was told I probably wouldn't need treatment for a long time, then a marker in my bloods showed I would need treatment sooner and that it probably wouldn't work as well for me which is typical for me as that's been my story my whole life due to other health conditions. I've been off work since I was diagnosed, the fatigue is a killer at times and I can do nothing which really annoys me as I'm always on the go, I can't go to my work as it's in a school so definitely not the best environment for me as I've no immune system and I really can't see a way back, it's constantly worrying me and I feel like a bomb waiting to explode. I hate the thought of having to get treatment, more so now I've been told I will struggle with it, I wake up every morning thinking everything's good then I suddenly remember no actually it's not and I'm so damn angry and my mood is very up and down. Sorry for rambling but sometimes it feels so lonely and no one understands.

  • Hi I have just finished palliative chemo which was I admit  quite tough so I sympathise with you and what you are experiencing . That less than I minute in the morning when you wake and everything seems ok is something we have all had I expect . as for rambling feel free it’s good to share . I hope that when you start your treatment it will be better than you are expecting and I’m sure that along with myself others on here will be keeping you in their thoughts good luck Chris x