Treatment dilemma!

Hi Feebz welcome to the group, but sorry you find yourself here. Everyone’s cancer diagnoses is different, and it’s a very personal situation to be in. It is completely your choice and no one will judge you for a decision that you chose that is right for you. Any cancer treatment comes with side effects, and some people do choose not to have treatment because of this.

You will find lots of support here in the group, whichever way you decide to go. X 

Hi Feebz

First off i am with you all the way on what you say but i will drop in i am a little like you i had a major accident years ago 25 to be right , now after that i was low i mean work was my life and they took that then driving then being allowed to be on my own and so on , slowly over time my body has failed , i struggle to eat solid food without pain and well dairy and wheat kill me but i also have heart issues having died 10 times nd been brought back but if i am honest i fight because i know nothing else , i liek you have just been in hospital and had covid and pnemonia and then on top the doc said we found stage 2 lung cancer , now we lost 3 of my mums family to it and my sister and so i sort of guessed one day it would come knocking , i have been laughing at it because i say ok so what else can they throw at me .

I will tell you i have no religion and so i just take life as a one time deal , i will fight for as long as i feel i can fight and i do feel your pain in a  way because i always said if cancer comes knocking i will take the time i have left but my docs have said they can remove the lung and then do the jaw and then chemo and i have always said no to chemo but i guess my wife made me see that if they do remove it to the point i may be clear then it is worth a go , i have agreed but again like you i have doubts but i have always said if it gets to the point i have no chance i would go to switzland but again you have to dig deep sometimes and look at others like family or whoever you feel your passing would hurt and say ok then if not for me for you .

I wish you all the healing i could offer to you but again i know days it hurts, i am in pain most days and control it with meds but some days it gets past them and i curl up and hate the world then the next days comes and the pain eases and i say ok now you get off the bed fight fight until you know you have done all you can .

I do not think anyone can tell you what to do re your life but i would say if you feel you can fight i know it will hurt i know you will take huge hits but try and dig in and look to the sky and say ok today i took a hit but tomorrow i hit back , ok well my wife and i send you hugs and all the healing we can send you .

Thank you, chellesimo, your words have helped. I think my main worry is about being judged, especially by those who are doing all they can to fight. I lost both my dad and younger brother to oral cancers, my dad was gone withing 4 weeks of diagnosis,  30 years ago. Then my younger brother chose to have no treatment and lived 2 years being peg fed, all he wanted was a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea. Everyone who knows me know I've fought and fought the past 61years of my  life, so they expect another fight. I'm just so tired now, I live alone, rarely see humans, I have my 2 dogs who've had Mummas on standby as my heath has deteriorated, I've made sure the fogs have the best homes once I'm not able to be the best Dogmumma to them,. It's not fair on them to have to suffer if I'm not capable of catering to their needs. I'm so ready to fown tools and relax now. Having this community and knowing I eont be judged is a huge relief, so again, thank you, Feebz xxx 

Thank you steptoe, it sounds like you've been through the mill like me, all this fighting is hard work isn't it.  You are so lucky to have a wife worth fighting for, having someone close is so important.  I'm alone, I've fought so long because that's what people expect from me, but I'm so very tired now. I need so much fixed, but no one will operate on me as I'd probably die, which is why surgery on my lung has been ruled out. I have no one to fight for but myself, and I'm exhausted,  both physically and mentally. 

I really appreciate your response, it's helping me with this tangled mess in my brain, weighing up my feelings and options (option) is becoming less daunting, so again, thank you, Feebz xx

Hi Feebz never say never to be honest , i have died on them on the table in one op i laugh because they said about it in another meeting after and i was like hmmm they said we are so sorry we lost him for a few minutes that was why the thigh is shaved they had to put another pacer on my leg lol , i wondered why i had been shaved down there when the op was on the stomach .

I also know the tangled mess of a brain to today the nurse called and told me i have caught MRSA from the last stay in hospitl because i never had it when i went in but i have it now bare in mind we have stayed home away from people and to make sure i do not catch anythign and low and behold the only places we have been are the hospital for tests so go figure it .

Ok well if you need a chat always happy to chat as sometimes just getting off your chest helps and i have been told i make people laugh a lot and a good old laugh can help , i am sure you have fought hard to be where you are but as i same some days you want to hide under the quilt and just cry or scream or just lay there and ask the why me but the next day it may be a little laess pain or less whatever , i know mental health can take a huge hit to but again there are people who can help and listen .

Me i have to fight because it is all i have known to be honest long story of life before the accident my life was a fair one in childhood terms bare somethinsg and well i had to fight to get over them and then well lost mum when young and again back then there was no help so fight i did and then well the accident and that took so much from me at times like you i use to think would the world stop without me but thne i lost a friend at 21 to well not going to go on that but as i say i took a look in the mirror and said ok our in pain today the meds are not helping but tomorrow you will get up and see a new you and less pain but it was still hard but again you sound like you know the wake up to pain go to bed in pain and the cycle of that , but try and fight i know easy to say when it is not you in pain but today i took a hit on the MSRA being found but i will fight that now and get fit for the OP i hope it still goes ahead as sort of got it in my head but again you just have to find something to lookj at and say ok i am going to fight because it will not break me .

Ok ramble over but again happy to chat , i would say have a cuppa with you but for now i am stayng clear of contact with poeple got to rid my body of the MSRA , and i told the wife iguess i will have to give up standing on the corner selling kisses to make ends meet then .

see you laughed i know you did