lung cancer no more treatment

Hi, I am sadly in almost the same situation.My husband was diagnosed last October,had chemotherapy,then immunotherapy but neither really helped.He then found out that the cancer had spread to his spine and particularly his neck.We have had very good support from G.P.,Macmillan,oncologist and especially our local hospice but he is now just palliative.It is such a surreal situation to be in as this time last year we were looking forward to our retirement and spending more time with our two adorable grandchildren 3 and 1yr.olds. I try to be strong and supportive but I am also terrified of what is to come and how I will cope.My husband has said that he wants to die at home but having recently spent a week in the hospice for pain control and counselling he has also thought about going back there at the end.Part of me thinks this is better as I don’t know how I will cope but then I feel that is being selfish.It is so hard to talk about these things as we are trying to live as normally as possible and stay positive.We too try to go out as much as we can,but sadly my husband is not allowed to drive any more which he hates so I do the driving which I also find stressful.We have both had to learn to ask for help and happily accept it.There are a lot of good people out there but neither of us were comfortable seeking help.Now we very much appreciated all the help we can get.Are you in touch with your local hospice as they are wonderful,our hospice nurse comes once a week and sorts so much out for us as she liaises with G.P. Consultant,Palliative Dr,physio,everyone.

Hi,

Yes we are very much in the same situation, its just so damn awful and we are both retired too and moved house in MArch to a smaller house and more manageable, and then this. So of course im having to do so much here which is hard at times and look after my partner, but it is a smaller house so yes, i have less garden to do but still work we would have shared, Sorry if i waffle on as i do, Im angry at what fate has dealt us, and we had som much to do so many places to go walks to do, and now cant. We have just managed to get a last minute cancellation holiday at the place we love so are going there tomorrow for a  much needed break in the UK of course as no flying now.

Im so so scared of what will happen and neither of us wanted to know " how long", we simply try to carry on the best we can for now. Mcmillan are contacting us again on our return from our break to discuss further help.

My partner has said he is willing to go in a hopsice when the time arrives that i cant cope as im not good with any illness and i admit that. My partner can still drive and i cant so we can only hope he can drive for as long as possible.I can only thank you for your response and know that theres someone else out there in the same situation. Trying not to constantly think of the terrible dark days to come and then without this kind man  here at my side.

Thinking of you too and lets try keep strong, because what other choice do we have.....

Our situations are so similar,we moved house a couple of years ago to somewhere we both love and were looking forward to being here for a long time.One of my worries is whether I can afford to stay here on my own.We were booked to go on holiday in a couple of weeks with our family,but we have cancelled as my husband is not up to it.As you say,there are so many emotions going on including anger,guilt,resentment.I too am having to do everything and my health is not good but my husband must feel awful not being able to do anything,so I have to keep my thoughts to myself. I hope you can enjoy your holiday and you and your partner can stay as well as possible for as long as possible.

Hi There.

just to say i am so very sad and sorry that you have had to cancel your holiday with family, thats awful and heartbeaking for you both. My partner couldnt make our last one in MAY due to having a collapsed lung and in hospital but insisted i go with my son and little girl, as i badly needed a break then. But this time at the end of the week my  son is bringing his little girl  aged 3 to us for 2 nights so in hope we can take her on the beach as my partner dotes on her and its one of his wishes to play on the beach with her. Fair weather permitting! I do hope you can manage to stay in your house somehow as you will have all your memories there. Im sorry your health is not good either, you are really going through it. This terrible disease gets the very best of people or seems to. im going to now go to bed and will hope that we get some decent weather on what could be our last holiday, I also hope that the time ahead is kind to you and the strength to cope with what has been given to us gets you through. Best wishes to you.