Hi everyone. My mam was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and brain metastases on 6th October. This was after her having a seisure on 29th September and being taken into hospital. She had been having a few migraines before this but no other symptoms. Only 65. No treatment as too far along.
I am 44 and am struggling with things. She has gone so much downhill since Monday. Has hospital bed in living room. 30mg morphine every 12 hours on slow release along with steroids and various other pills. 3 days ago she could get up off sofa herself and walk to toilet with her stick. Now she has to use a commode beside her bed as has got no strength at all to walk. Also has no appetite and us coughing up blood. I dont think k she will be eith us much longer and I'm heartbroken. Her and my dad been together since they were both 15.
My poor dad keeps getting shouted at as making too much noise but its cos of the brain metastases as he's just boiling kettle or coughing or something.
The nurses started coming in 3 times a day from today to help. I have 5 children from age 8 to 15 and struggling explaining everything to them. I constantly feel sick and anxious and dread my mobile ringing and my dad saying she's had another seisure or worse.
My brother lives a 2 hour drive away so is on the phone loafs for updates but not the same as having him here.
Damn covid is making everything so hard and means family and friends can't visit. Which is do hard as my mam is one of 12.
Sorry for rambling!
Hi Eliza53, and welcome to the group, but sosorry to hear about your mum. It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch someone you love go through ths. I hope having the nurses coming in will help take the pressure off of your Dad. This must be so distressing for him, especially as they have been together for so long.
It must be so difficult for you when you also have 5 children to support. I can fully understand your anxiety. Telling young children is not an easy task. I have put a support and information leaflet about preparing children for loss HERE for you, I hope it helps.
I know you are supporting your Dad, but you must also look after yourself. Talking about things certainly helps, so I am glad you have taken the first step and posted here. I wonder if you may also want to join the supporting-someone-with-incurable-cancer-forum where you can meet people who are going through a similar situation to yourself.
Take care, I hope you have some better days with your mum.
