Hello,
I haven't introduced myself because I don't know whether I'll be a frequent visitor here or not; I'm sorry if it's wrong. I'm just a friend of someone who has been diagnosed with lung cancer. My friend is a very reserved man, and he hasn't told many people outside his family and very close friends. I'm even surprised he's considered me close enough to tell me. And I'm also surprised at how badly I've taken it as, although I certainly consider him my friend, he's a workmate I've known for just a couple of years. I hadn't realised I care so much about him (nothing romantic here!).
P was diagnosed with cancer in early May. When he told me about it, he said he was expecting a phone call for an operation at any moment, and we even said we might have to change some work-related plans we had for early June. However, time passed on and nothing happened. Meanwhile, our conversations were very general, as he doesn't seem to want to discuss the details and I feel shy about asking him if it's not him who wants to tell me about them. In late June I asked whether he knew what to expect about his sick leave, and he told me that the best case scenario was two months, and the worst one was not returning to work. Is it really possible to have so much uncertainty until after the operation, or was he just avoiding the topic?
Anyway, when our holidays started in August nothing had happened. We kept in touch by email, and all he told me is that he was still waiting. And then, on the 25th I got a WhatsApp message from him telling me he was in the ICU after the operation on the 22nd. He spent six days there, and then eight more until he was released from hospital. Apparently, the operation was difficult and risky, possibly more than normal, as P was already missing part of one lung because of a pneumonia ten years ago.
I have no information about the type of cancer, stage, complications, treatment after the operation... And I don't feel I have the right to ask. He told me that he had the staples removed in two steps, and that in the first one they removed 40 of them. This gives me an idea of how big his scar must be, and it may give someone who knows an idea of the sort of operation he's undergone.
P keeps me updated by WhatsApp, but I'd really like to phone him and suggest meeting up. I have no idea whether he'll be willing to do so, but if there's a possibility he may accept, I can't do it when it's completely untimely. With these data I've given you (and considering no two people are the same), when do you think it is safe to call him and be realistic about his ability to go out to have a cup of tea?
