Feeling a bit vulnerable

Jools I am so sorry you had to experience that yesterday. I really don’t know why some of these doctors have to be so cold. I am glad you have brought it up with the nurse, and that she is taking it further. Your oncologist may not of been feeling well yesterday, but if her illness made her lose her empathy then she should have taken the day off! 

Ah Jooks I think we have all had one of those and it’s a shame because it really hurts especially when all the others are so kind and helpful .I ll share ——- mine was after a ct and a biopsy to see if my cancer had reoccurred   ,the oncologist jumped in before I saw the doctor for my results  .He came in and said Unfortunately with the biopsy we did not find any cancer but we suggest aggressive chemo and radiotherapy in case .Luckily my son was with me and jumped in and said can I ask why you started that sentence with unfortunately when it sounds like good news ?Also why aggressive treatment if you can t tell me it’s cancer yet ? I also spoke to the nurse and next appointment I went in and there were 2 oncologists 2 doctors and a nurse at my appointment apologising but as I explained I had said it so that he didn t do it to someone else  and as I said Hundreds of other people have been wonderful . It’s not tge  greatest bedside manner .I hope  you can forget that one it’s not easy when you are in pain and yes you have been very positive and no you are not being sensitive .You keep strong girl !,,, Just come here and vent whenever !

Jennifer 

Hi Chelle

Thank you for the support, I know right, she should’ve definitely taken the day off! The last thing any of us need is dragging down even if it is by an unintentional comment. The thing was she seemed really empathetic throughout the conversation we had and it surprised me when she said that.

I just hope she didn’t put her foot in it with anyone else yesterday.

I hope you’re doing ok Chelle

sending positive vibes and big hugs

Hi Jennifer

I hope you’re doing ok. Goodness  me!  I don’t know what I’m moaning about, what was said to you was absolutely dreadful. You don’t need mixed messages like that when you’re already worried enough do you. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

I do feel a lot better today, it’s silly what will make you feel low isn’t it. I spend most of my time believing 100% that these drugs are going to do the job they’re meant to do and ignoring the alternate reality. Having a reminder of that reality even if it’s small feels like a proper kick in the teeth when you have to fight so hard to stay positive. I know you and everyone else going through this totally relates to that.

It probably did me good to have a cry anyway, I have to learn to get a thicker skin lol

I’m feeling more my usual self now and back to kicking cancers butt

Thank you so much for your lovely words, stay well Jennifer

sending positive vibes and big hugs  

Jools

Hi Jools

I had a couple of occasions similar to yours. 

My first follow up appointment three months after treatment for lung cancer was, I thought, going so well as the results showed a 50% reduction in the size of the lesion.  I then mentioned to the oncologist that I had a severe nosebleed three weeks after my treatment finished, which lasted on and off all day - the bleeding was only in the left nostril, the same side as the lesion.  I pointed out that I had never had a nosebleed in my life before and queried whether it was a side effect of the treatment (SABR) radiotherapy.  The first thing he said was that I was just being "paranoid", and that "next thing if you have a headache you will think you have a brain tumour" - all this was said with a smirk on his face.  The nurse chaperone who was present in the room with me looked embarrassed by his remarks.  I found out a few weeks later that, after a conversation with a medical professional friend of mine that, although quite rare, nosebleeds can be a side effect of radiotherapy to the lung because it can cause inflammation in the nasal passages.

The second occasion was with my second follow up appointment.  This was a different oncologist, and whilst we were discussing the results I mentioned about a newish drug that was now available - he said "don't worry we will use that when it comes back".  I just said, "excuse me, I would like to say if not when", and the nurse chaperone agreed.

As you say, we all like to stay positive in our ongoing recovery and sometimes things said by the medical profession can make us feel vulnerable.  Glad to hear you are back to your positive self.

I had my third follow up appointment last Monday 31st March for my CT results and everything is fine and on track for recovery.  Also, no negative comments from the oncologist thankfully. 

Very best wishes to you.

Ann 

I'm so sorry, yes totally understand you feeling upset,hope you are ok now,  

Oh I forgot to say ,because my cancer nurse wants me to start going up cancer ward once month to have air mask to help if I get problems with my lungs due to steroids I've been on might get problems not always, i said I was going to think about it first, she then said do you know if you do get this problem you can die,and we want to keep you alive as long as we can, it upset me how blunt she was, perhaps I was having bad day,.

I remember when that happened to you Anne and was appalled about the brain tumour remark!!! I didn’t t know about the second remark !,, How sad that after all the good works of hundreds of doctors and nurses you get the odd throwaway remark that  has the power to nullify all the ones that went before it .Well I think we should take the power back back and give it a lovely name when someone  does that next time ( wow I m not sure where that came from —- being upset for you girls!) Ok what shall we call it?

Well done on your CT results Ann keep on track ! 

Jennifer 

Ah sorry, you had one as well See we all have one ! As I said above let’s think of a good name for it so we focus on all the positive  ones  .

Jennifer

Hi Ann

Blimey, that was totally insensitive on both occasions wasn’t it.

That’s just terrible! They should be given some lessons on how to be compassionate. I know that not all medical professionals are like that but the last thing any of us need is sarcasm and negativity. We feel vulnerable enough already without that don’t we.

I’m so happy that you’re doing so well now though Ann, that really is positive news.

I won’t have a scan now for a couple of months to see if this treatment is working. My last scan before starting treatment showed that my primary tumour had progressed but I’m not too worried about that.

Im sure they will see a difference when I’m scanned again. 

Sending positive vibes and hugs

take care 

Jools