Dad recently diagnosed with terminal lung cancer

Hi Poppy1990 I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. This must of come as such a shock to you. I can fully understand your Dad wanting to go home, so I am pleased to see this may be possible for him next week. I can understand you wanting to spend as much time with him, and it must be so hard trying to juggle your work and own personal life with spending as much time you can with him.  It is so hard to get the right balance, and it is easy to feel guilty when a loved one lives alone, but you cannot be there all the time for him. Maybe work out a time schedule for when you are going to visit, and try and stick to that, you have to try to look after yourself as well, it is very difficult. 

There are a few people in the lung group that are supporting loved ones with lung cancer, but there are also other support groups here in the online community that you can join, to talk to other people who are going through a similar situation to yourself.

Family and friends 

Carers only

supporting someone with incurable cancer group

You will find several people there who are going through a similar situation to yourself.  You can also call the Macmillan support helpline for support 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm on 0808 808 00 00 

Hi Poppy,

I’m so sorry to hear the news about your dad. It is a really difficult time and so hard to deal with.

My dad has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer too and like your dad, he lives alone. I feel such a responsibility to him, as I’m sure you do.

I have no answers or suggestions for you as I am trying to figure out the same things but I didn’t want to pass by without telling you that I am thinking of you and understand how hard this all is. 

Hi Poppy,

My dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer spread to the bones and he lives alone. Yes he's having treatment however it's getting the right pain relief/steriods right that make all the difference.  It's absolutely devasting I get it, worst year of my life. But steriods can help with his energy and he can go about day to day things, also with your support and macmillain there are happy times to have ahead. I also juggle work and my toddler. It's brutal. But it becomes a way of life. Try and have the best Xmas you can, like myself It's emotional, but we must live and breath every day he is here.  Once the shock wears off (took me about 6 month totally normal) you will learn to breathe better,make sure you get support because I burnt out at the beginning. 

You will be fine. If you ever need to chat I'm here. I understand how hard it is xx

Hi,

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it feels good to speak with people who have gone through the same thing. Its been such a huge shock. Yeah, I feel like that right now, I feel like I'm completely burnt out right now... before he's even back home! I'm thinking of looking into whether I can reduce my hours at work, as I feel like something has got to give a little right now. I'm hoping to make Christmas special for him, and just make the most of whatever time we have left. Xx

Hi Chloe,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing right now.

I 100% agree, I feel a huge responsibility as he lives on his own and also being an only child. I know I'm constantly going to be worrying about him once he's back home.

We've just got to make the most of whatever time is left... you just never realise how precious life is until something like this happens... it really makes you realise what is actually important in life.

Xx

Hi Chellesimo 

Thank you for your message.

I'm happy that they are allowing to go home, as I know he will feel so much happier and comfortable being in his own surroundings. 

I'm thinking of looking into whether I can reduce my hours at work for a bit, as I certainly can't keep juggling working fulltime, running my home and spending time with Dad... I'm burning myself out already. I think your right with sticking to set times, like a rota x

Hi all,

It's been a few weeks since I was last on here.

Dad sadly passed away after 5 days of him being home he kept fighting so he could make it home... I'm struggling with how incredibly quick things changed once he got home and had seen those that he loved! However I am just so grateful that I got to spend those last few days with him and I was there to hold his hand when he passed, but I just wish that the hospital hadn't taken so many weeks to diagnose him and put so many barriers up in order to get him home, as I feel robbed of  that time we could've had together. There are just no words to describe how absolutely devastated I'm feeling   

Sending hugs.  

Sending love and condolences to you and your family xx

I am so so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you. Each day a little bit of strength will appear,until then your allowed to be upset and in shock. I no that day will come for me and I'm dreading it's so much. 

All my love for the new year ahead. Your dad is no longer in painm. Thankyiu for letting us know. It just of been so hard to write. Keep strong. U can get through this.

I also understand your frustration with hospitals being quite laid back. I feel the same. 

Take care xx