Hi all, I’m new here.
Im 32 years old and my poor mum is 50. She’s recently been diagnosed with non small cell - adenocarcinoma. She has approx 3 tumours in her right lung measuring between 2.5cm and below and then some small scatters…it also effects the lymph. She has a small 0.3mm tumour to the left lung too. At the minute her symptoms are just shortness of breath she’s struggling to walk distance but can breath fine whilst sat.
we are still waiting for oncology, we’ve been told it’s inoperable and incurable but she will be able to have chemo, radio or immunotherapy….her samples have been sent for molecular tests.
when I say I absolutely beside myself it’s an understatement. I have 2 children who absolutely adore their Nan and put to now I haven’t told them, I’d rather have a proper plan beforehand.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep I can’t even function. At one point I considering dying with her. I know this sounds extreme, I would never do that to my children, but I cannot lose my mum. Literally I can’t. She’s my best friend the only person I have. We are a small family she’s my rock.
this morning she’s not great, she feels abit sick and it having sweats.
I don’t even know what I’m trying to achieve with this thread. I know her life expectancy isn’t great, I’m a nurse and know some things and I’m realistic. But the pain is unbearable and I can’t see how we’re going to get through this. I hate the fact she’s sat in her own dark thoughts thinking of us.
I would do anything, I’d even give her my lung if it was an option.
I suppose im hoping for someone to come along and say “I had this a lot worse and im here 20 years later!”, but I know. I know il get to 35 and say I don’t have a mum. And it kills me
Hi Worried1301.
Sorry you find yourself here, however happy to chat with you if it helps. If you tap on my avatar you can read my journey so far. I am 16 months into my treatment plan and I know at this time there is no cure for me so I focus as much as possible on staying well and strong so if there is a breakthrough in this disease I will be in the best possible please health-wise for treatment. You sound so desperate and that is why I am responding to your post.
We are a great bunch of people on this forum who all support each through all the ups and downs so please no your not on your own, we will listen and support where we can. You have said your a nurse so you are realistic so I will say this, treatment is advancing all the time people are living much longer with treatment now and not just day to day their is a reasonable quality of life with treatment so every reason to stay well . I know your mum is the person with cancer however in order for you to support her you need to stay fit and healthy as well so please take care of yourself. Things will get easier when you have a treatment plan in place and this will probably be when you see the oncologist, make sure plenty of questions are asked. In the meantime I am happy to message with you if it helps or you can always give the Macmillan helpline a call you can find the number on the home page.
I am sure other will come along and offer their support as well so please feel free to keep posting,
Try and have a pleasant day hugs for now.
Donna
You won't believe me but you're stronger than you think you are. You will be okay, but there's no denying that you're on a long journey to get there. Draw on your children for strength, your role as a mum to them just as your mum is a mum to you, and made you who you are today.
I'm on the same journey as you. I'd do anything to change its course, but can't. I've been through all the emotions it feels like already, but am still on the journey, still heading down the long road ahead.
You will be OK. Your mum will be proud of you, as will your children. Just do the best you can and be kind to yourself. You're only human, and everything you're feeling is perfectly normal and understandable.
Hi Worried1301
i read your post and it resonated with me so much I had to reply. My mum has stage 4 lung cancer with bone mets not curable but treatable. It came totally out of the blue and as a family we are still devastated. What you have wrote is very similar to what I posted a few short months back. It was the worst day when mum was diagnosed and I too didn’t want to be here as my mum is my best friend and to be honest my world but I also have children that need me so I had to pick myself up for them and my mum.
You will get strength because you will want to be there to help your mum in any way you can. Everything is new and is raw and scary jjust now with all the scans and tests but once a plan is in place it does help immensely.
This site has been a godsend from the outset and i am extremely grateful to it. There are some wonderful people on here who just get it because they have been through it or are going through it and any advice I have been given on here has always been spot on so definitely use it for support.
If you need to ask anything or just chat I’m here.
Jacqueline
Hi Worried1301 I am sorry you find yourself here and your Mum has lung cancer. My Mum had the same diagnosis as yours but she is at stage 4 was diagnosed in February. All the things that you have said I can relate to. Your mind goes into overdrive and begin grieving for someone who is still here and that’s normal. It’s such a massive shock and will take some time to process what is happening. You will get through this initial stage - the unknown is the worst as is the waiting. Once you have a treatment plan in place I am sure you will feel better - I know I did. It may not be curable but they can treat it. You Mum might have a mutation that they have a targeted therapy for. My Mum has had her 1st treatment of chemo and immunotherapy and she is doing ok. Happy to chat if you want to.
Hello,
I felt the need to respond to you as I’m going through similar emotions to you. My mum has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. I also have 2 young children. My father passed away in 2021. My mum is my world, and the thought of losing her is literally killing me. I struggle with anxiety anyway but recently it’s been off the scale. I’m struggling to function. I’m trying to be strong for the the sake of my children and my mum but it’s so hard and takes so much energy.
Not sure of the point of my post other than to say I understand your feelings and you’re not alone.
Hope you and your mum are doing ok. x
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