I apologise for not posting sooner as I have had a terrible time since New Year's Eve.
I had my first round of Chemo on Christmas Eve and a follow up dose at home on New Year's Eve. All down hill from there on in.
To cut a long story short I ended up in hospital on two occasion both times with Gallstone problems, never even knew I had Gallstones, and also Pancreatitis. I have never experienced pain like it. Both times I ended up in hospital for 5 day stays with blood markers over 4000 and should have been 50-60. What blood markers they were I cannot remember.
Chemo was stopped and was told I will be given Radical Radiotherapy instead. Went for my Mapping Scan and the radiologist decided I was not well enough to have the Mapping Scan let alone the Radical Radiotherapy, bearing in mind I was only out of hospital a few days before and dragged myself out of bed ( I was isolating in bed from Covid for my wifes sake in case I caught the virus in hospital). Seen my Oncologist a few days later and she was in agreement with the Radiologist and decided I could only have Palliative Radiotherapy to try and stop the tumour bleeding. I did have the Palliative Radiotherapy over 5 days and the bleeding has indeed all bar stopped, just seen a few spots after a coughing fit in past 3 weeks almost.
I have since been told twice by same Oncologist that there is no more treatment for me, so in essence I am terminal. Not what I wanted to hear and asked for a second opinion which I will get within next 14 days.
I am struggling to sleep with my breathing being difficult. All I can see is my demise, mates carrying my coffin down to the hearse. I am at my wits end, not knowing how long I got, not even wanting to know how long I got, and feeling sorry for my wife,.
On a lighter note I would like to express my most sincere thanks to McMillan for the Grant I was awarded and used it to buy me a Dyson Fan which helps me tremendously.
A million thanks.
Alun
Hi Alun its lovely to hear from you, but so sorry to hear what a rotten time you have had. I know how very painful gallstones can be, as my other half suffered terribly with them, and had to have his gallbladder removed in the end.
I am so sorry that they have said that there is no further treatment. I really do hope you get some better news from the 2nd opinion. Its good to hear though that the radiotherapy has helped alleviate the symptoms.
I am sorry you are struggling to sleep at night. Have you tried to sleep more upright? You can try sleeping with a V shaped pillow behind you, to support you and help to keep you more upright. Our thoughts are always the worst at night, when the rest of the world seems calm, and our brains are in turmoil. Have you thought about some form of counselling to help you with these dark thoughts? You can always contact the macmillan support line to help put you in touch with someone in your area. They are open 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm on 0808 808 00 00
I'm glad that the Dyson fan is helping. I have a small fan next to my bed, as they say that having the air blowing on your face encourages your lungs to breath. Is the Dyson fan quiet? You have me thinking now that maybe I should look to upgrade my fan.
Take care Alun, keep in touch x
