hello
i have just been diagnosed with probably primary liver cancer cancer and am now awaiting a biopsy to establish type and subsequent treatment plan. To say the least I’m devastated at the news and like most folks , did not see this coming. Almost overnight my mood has dramatically shifted and I cannot seem to pull myself into the positive mindset I will require moving forward. It seems like it is taking an eternity to get the tests lined up and as such this is adding to the anxiety with loss of sleep and inability to communicate effectively.
at the moment I’m finding it hard to talk about and am feeling resentful and anger and extreme sadness about the situation. Having only just retired and starting to enjoy life , the rug has been potentially pulled from under my feet. I’m 61 and relatively fit, so hopefully I have this going for me.
I know that these are all negative thoughts but it’s very fresh for me and this has to be a natural reaction, mainly due to the massive uncertainties I am dealing with due to the lack of tests. In my head, the longer it takes, the worse the condition will be as it’s not getting better on its own. Hopefully I will get to hear next week when the appointment will be.
in the meantime, I have reached out to this group and have downloaded relaxation apps etc to try and get my head in the right place. This has to be a positive move so that I don’t wind up being the person folks avoid as they will not feel as though they can approach or support.
anyhow, this is my first blog and in some ways it feels good just to vent on the space. Hopefully there are others out there that have had similar feelings that can share positive input and tips
thanks
Hi KTU. Another welcome from me and thanks for updating your profile. Reading it I can quite understand why you feel the rug's been pulled, just retired and raring to go and do all the things you've now got the time for and now this! Cancer treatments are so much more sophisticated nowadays and very successful so it's more thought to be a curable disease than the negative sentence of yesteryear.
Once your biopsy had been done, your MDT (Multi Disciplinary Team) will meet and establish a treatment plan for you. Then you will feel more in control. At the moment you're in the Why me?, What if? stage veering between feeling numb and hyper-anxious. You're not alone here, we've all been there. Some forums are much busier than others so I do hope the members here come along soon and chat.
You can also read other members posts and just introduce your self by replying to them. There's no particular etiquette here, we're just here for each other.
Glad you feel a bit better after your vent, I used to go out and howl at the moon at night. I shall be out a lot in the next few nights if skies are clear watching for the Perseids meteor showers which peak on 12 August. (saw a couple last night)
Barb xx
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