Depressed 22 weeks post TL

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Hi

so I’m now a TL. Op The as 5/12/23. I was desperate to be home for Christmas which I managed however pushed to hard and ended up back in hospital for 9 days over NY.  


I have two teenage boys I am 41 and a single parent. I do too much. But I can’t stop or they wouldn’t have lunches every day and clean clothes every night.  I am shattered and it has all just hit me over the last week or two that Fck me I had cancer (stage 4) and I’m now a lary forever and my next cancer check is in two weeks which scares the hell out me. 

the depression is eating away at me - any tips..? 

I’ve tried two types of anti depression meds one made me sick and one made me suicidal so not sure I want to go down that road. 

people say the more I talk to MacMillon the sooner I’ll accept it and be able to move in. 

any tip or tricks recommend. 

thanks JB x

  • Hi JaniceBee

    I’m so sorry to read your post, the time it takes to adjust to being a Laryngectomee varies for everyone, I was as you when I was told the extent of my cancer and to be honest I knew it had to take place, someone said to me a few months ago – I don’t know how you faced the thought of going down for surgery and coming out without a voice- I to be honest hadn’t given that a thought.

    I was quite lucky in that I am quite a positive type of person and I worked right upto the day before and as soon as I could I went back to work (2 months), luck was on my side as it was during the pandemic so we were mostly working from home. Then 2 years after my Laryngectomy they found cancer in my Oesophagus which really threw me and had Chemo and Radiotherapy, again I worked through it all until the last 2 Radiotherapy sessions and then it hit me like a brick wall.

    I am saying all this for you to try and see the positive side, I too and many Laryngectomees will admit we all get depressed and very frustrated at times but we are living and hopefully the cancer has gone or buggered off for a long while.

    You may find that talking to someone may help, not really about your Cancer but everything but, you can always contact MacMillan on the number below or speak to your ENT staff about the MacMillan Buddy Help, we give you 12 sessions of calls or house visits to talk and help, there is info :

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/macmillan-buddies&ved=2ahUKEwjOwezOm4CGAxVsU0EAHdh2BC4QFnoECBYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw17RnurYmDmrKXeASkTxOkG

    Another site that may help is the Laryngectomy Club, they have a series of help pages and regular newsletters  https://www.laryngectomy.org.uk/

    I hope things get better for you and you may find that if you post on the Head and Neck Forum you may get further support as there are a few of us with Laryngectomy problems.

    Stay with it – it does get better
    Take Care

    Tony

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    We will move mountains to help people with cancer live life as fully as they can.
    We'll do whatever it takes. For information, support or just someone to talk to,

    call 0808 808 00 00 or visit www.macmillan.org.uk

    Onwards and UpwardsWink Laryngectomy and OC survivor 

    Lead Volunteer for Hampshire MacMillan Buddy Service

    • I don't have cancer but as a child of someone who does please know that your kids appreciate everything you do.. but please ask them to help, tell them how you feel... they will be just as scared as you and having your Little team help you will make them worry less.. help to distract each other, have random days with them... watch crap on the TV that makes you laugh ( we watch still game with my dad) talk about anything that pulls you out if your darkness... believe me it hhelps xx