Son recently diagnosed.

Hi Tina, Sorry to hear of your sons diagnosis. and to hear you lost his father to same thing.

It's good you've posted on this forum. I think it does help to express you worries and fears. People here have all had to face so much that you will get a lot of people able to relate to how you're feeling.

You're doing brilliant in trying to stay focused on the facts and staying positive. Sometimes it's all you can do. Being there is important. 

With regard to intruding couldn't you tell him you will be there whenever he needs you ?

I do feel for partners, parents, siblings, family, friends of cancer sufferers. 

Having a 'plan' will help in as much as you'll all have something to focus on. 

Good luck for now....Del.

Thank you Del.  I'm glad I've joined.  It's one thing sharing with friends but no one understands as well as those who are experiencing similar problems.  Close family are also struggling as I am so I don't want to lean on them too much.  My son and family know that I am there when needed but at the moment they have expressed the need for some personal space which I do understand so just standing back a little until I can be of help in any way.  Once we all know more facts than we can move forward.  At the moment we are all in limbo.  Thanks for your best wishes. Tina.

Tina,

You're doing great. Don't forget when it all gets too much, and they'll be ups and downs as you no doubt know, just holler out on here. Someone will be there if only in a forum kind of way.

Del.

Thanks Del.  I will. Much appreciated.. Tina

Now is the worst time.  You don't have the detailed diagnosis or a treatment plan.  Plus, no doubt it's been a shock.  Right now is the worst it will be because of the unknowns.  You're all at the stage of having to come to terms with it yourselves.  In 2-3 months time you'll perhaps look back and realise your feelings have changed.  I never told my parents or SiLs until 3 months after diagnosis.  There's no right or wrong time to tell family.  I see it as a positive that your son has asked for a bit of space.  I think that demonstrates a lot of maturity.  

You'll find a depth of knowledge and support on here.  Let us know how it's going and never be afraid to ask questions, have a rant or just pop on to chat.  

Thanks Mmum.  I agree that this is the worst time for all of us.  It's quite hard as I am an elderly widow living alone so no one on hand to share my immediate feelings and worries with, although I do have plenty of good neighbours and friends, and lots of interests to keep me occupied.  Just have to control my wandering mind!  I know that sharing in this group will be very helpful.  

I just wanted to share my journey so far, Five weeks ago I was diagnosed with a 12.7 cm tumour on my left kidney, I’m due to have a left hand assisted radical nephrectomy to remove the kidney at the end of this month, I’m very apprehensive about the procedure and the recovery time as I’m in my 70’s, but know there is no other option, I don’t normally share my feelings in this way, but I’ve been encouraged by reading all the positive and helpful comments on here from people who have been through this, Many thanks for reading this.

Hi Devil Woman.  You and me are new to this group and between us seeing things from both sides.  I hesitated for some time to join but I can already see it was a good move from the  support I've already received.  I wish you all the very best with your forthcoming operation and for you to make a good recovery.  

Hi Tina, thank  you for your good wishes. Like you I hesitated about joining, but am glad I did, i have a supportive and loving family but it’s nice to talk on here with people who are going through the same thing. I don’t always tell  my family about my doubts and fears, but feel that I can here,. I hope things go well for your son, and please try to stay positive, I know that’s difficult, because I struggle myself, especially in the middle of the night when my over active brain kicks in. Take care.

How wonderful that you both get something from posting on this site.

So glad you joined.

Del