Hi , im so trying to be brave but the tears won’t stop

Hi TryingMyBest,

That's a lot you've unpacked there. And i think that will help you recharge and refocus. This is a great place to let it all out which is something that's not always possible in life. We want to be strong and brave as is needed yet we feel so weak and helpless inside when faced with such circumstances.What helps me is having somewhere unattached to my day to day life where i can have a moan and i can feel sorry for myself and then get back on track again.

I had my right kidney removed 4 weeks ago. I had no pain/discomfort yet i had a tumour on it that meant it had to be removed. I was stunned when they first told me. I've been very lucky to have my wife who has just 'been there'. Sometimes that is all you can do but i would never underestimate the value of having someone 'being there'. It has been the main thing that has helped me cope with everything mentally and physically. In saying that i'm taking nothing away from Drs and nurses who did their great work for me/us.

Does the hospital have a plan for your husband treatment wise ? 

Keep posting here. I think it helps to have some support that is unattatched. There is also a lot of people here living with difficult circumstances that chip in and help.

There are macmillan welfare/benefit advisors. Worth getting in touch early to get the ball rolling there.

Best of luck for now......Del.

It's great that you've reached out. In this group there are patients and family members and it must be so hard for you to take everything in.

Take baby steps and have small goals. I know that's easy to say when your brain is working overtime and all different scenarios are racing through your head.

Take time out for yourself, there's plenty of good listeners on here to offer support.

Take care and keep us updated

Carney x