Having gone through a really tough time this year, namely the cancer diagnosis of Larry the Lump, then losing my partner's mum, and subsequently him losing his job, I would have thought that's where the bad luck ended. Fast forward a few months, and having the most awful gremlins in my head, the mental health has suffered immensely - and now my partner threw the biggest bombshell - he wants to end the relationship! We've supported each other through so much, and then I've got this to contend with. Back to blooming square one. I am literally broken, don't want to eat anything, go anywhere or see anyone. Literally broken beyond measure. I can't do life anymore.
Hi Betsy
It sounds like you have all had a really tough time and I am sorry that you are now dealing with the break up of your relationship on top of everything else. I am pleased that you felt able to reach out on here for support.
I understand that this must feel like the last straw and that you are under huge pressure. It is natural for relationships to be under huge stress when facing one major crisis after another. I know the pressure my diagnosis put on those closest to me and I was not dealing with any of the other things you have been through this year.
I know that when I feel upset or stressed then I tend to withdraw a bit and also can't be bothered to eat. Could you put the kettle on and have a cup of tea and some toast- sometimes little things can help.
Have you got one person that you can confide in about how you are feeling? Even if it is just to text. I know if I had a text from a friend saying that they were having a rubbish time- I would want to know and I would want to help. You clearly have been helping others this year through real challenges, now is the time to let others support you.
Do you have any support for your mental health? Do you have a number to call when you are in crisis? Do you feel able to speak to your GP to get some extra support put in place. Do you have a supportive CNS that you could confide in?
I am going to put some links below that may be of help.
Macmillan Support Line is available every day from 8am-8pm and you can talk in confidence to one of the nurses. They are lovely on there and will understand.
Urgent support - Every Mind Matters - NHS
Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen
Shout: The UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service | Shout 85258
How to seek help for a mental health problem
I understand that things feel tough at the moment, but we are here for you.
Jane
Betsy, I'm so sorry to hear this news 
I can understand why you feel totally broken. You've already been through so much and this really is the final straw.
Perhaps your partner also is so totally broken that he too cannot continue forward. Maybe his only possibly way of dealing with all that you have been through between you, is to simply cut off all the past up to this point? People do deal with life traumas in different ways. He's given all his strength to get through all these tragedies, and he is now totally spent.
You say that he says he "wants to end the relationship" - does this mean that he hasn't yet done so? In which case, is he perhaps open to sitting down, having long talks, lots of tears, lots of cuddles, and a sharing of the pain that you are both feeling? It's not unusual that two people who are very close, are torn apart by the heavy weight of traumas and tragedies. It may be fear of the future: what else can go wrong for you both. Is he the sort of person who could communicate his fears to you? Can you communicate your fears to him?
Do you have anyone near to you, perhaps a kindly neighbour, or a friend, you could call in on and who would be a listening ear?
Something I've personally found helpful, at similar times of despair in the past, was to locate a dog or cat (my own, or even a friend's) and sit and stroke the animal, and I would pour my tears into its fur. There is something very reassuring about a dog or cat, because they are just there, they don't judge, they literally soak up your tears, and the act of stroking their fur is therapeutic and soothing. And, they need our love and our touch, and they respond to it.
Sometimes it seems as if it's one trauma after another and finally we reach a point where we cannot take any more. But we are stronger than we realise - especially those of us who have gone through cancer. You can do this! but, do enlist the support of someone, whether a professional or a friend, to be your rock to cling onto as you navigate this latest traumatic life event.
