All alone in this battle

Hi mythicdreamer, I know how you feel about being alone, my story is different as it's my husband who has the kidney cancer, all my family just stopped talking to us because they didn't know what to say , I told them to not talk about it just be there and treat us as they always did but that fell on deaf ears and I haven't heard from them just when we need them the most. What I will say as from the cancer point , you are in a really good positive position,  YOU BEAT cancers arse , it didn't get you , ok so you need to try to tell yourself that and that you are strong and it won't get the better of you. Now I would go back to your doctor and tell him that your not really coping,  maybe a prescription for antidepressants will help you feel better so you can relax properly untill you feel better so you can get out and about , also tell your family  that you need to be able to speak to them about it as you feel so lonely and isolated , I really hope things get better for you but please speak to your doctor and your family xxxx

Hello mythicdreamer, I am so sorry you are feeling so alone, I have my husband and children here with me-(I was diagnosed last month) I have had a few family members stop by but like you some don’t know what to say so they keep their distance. I know it’s hard to ask for help but maybe send a group message to all family members expressing what you want from them. I find it easier to write than to speak when asking for help. That being said I also feel very alone and scared and don’t know where to turn to. For me it’s the wait and the uncertainty. I was told that I would have the op to remove my kidney by mid November but I still haven’t heard anything and when I called to find out the what was happening I’ve been left waiting for a response - third day now with no reply. My mental health is really suffering too. I have enlisted in my local talking therapies and they have been a massive help in terms of listening to how I’m feeling. Ask your gp about the local talking therapies contact details. It really helps to talk and cry about what you’re feeling without feeling you are burdening/upsetting your family. I usually feel a lot better afterwards. I find the nights are the most difficult when I’m with my own thoughts (that’s why most of my posts are early hours of the morning) but try to be kind to yourself xx

Hi Mythicdreamer

your posting struck me as being very sad, as I'm sure it did everyone else - all of us have been through worrying times, either personally or with a member of their family (in my case, my wife). There's not much I can suggest, except to say that pauses in treatment are quite common, and usually come about in response to blood tests which show treatment is causing more harm than good. Once your blood levels return to somewhere near normal, I'm sure everything will get back on track. On family contacts, I have a large family, being the eldest of 9 children, but my wife made it clear that she didn't want everyone phoning up to see how she's getting on. They all care, of course, so I keep them up to date from time to time via email. I would persevere with your efforts to get in touch with your Macmillan nurse - we have found them very helpful.

Best Wishes, Bodger

Good morning Mythicdreamer, I hope this morning is a good one for you. I feel so much for your problems it must be so lonely. I have incurable Liver Cancer and am on palliative Immunotherapy and have been for 15 months now and the indication is that I am doing well. I have not been given a time limit but the general consensus is that it's 2 years so I do have a while to go yet

There must be something you can do and I would ask a friend to deal with anything that upsets you to such a degree you just cannot do it yourself. It is the responsibility of your Cancer team to help you with appts. etc. and most if not all Oncology Depts. have volunteer drivers to get you to appts. and by talking online is a great comfort to me. I am with Basingstoke and North Hampshire Oncology unit and even though I live in Berkshire they are happy to treat me and so a supervisions job. I always know what is going on and I can ask any questions as I know they will be answered. Another thought is do you have a Macmillan Nurse ? If not, get one they are especially trained and knowledgeable about problems and are great at helping to solve them in a calm and friendly way. I feel so useless as I would love to help you to feel better about things so I shall keep looking out for your posts to see how you are. God Bless you

Jackie ( Mrs Green is just to formal and I'm trying to change it )