Hi everyone,
I'm 27 years old, this has been my first major (and only) surgery. I'm 6 weeks post op and have since been told the cancer has been removed, albeit being T3 (Invasion of perirenal fat). I found out about the tumour in September this year.
Despite being told I am in the all clear, my emotions have been an absolute wreckage, and are very difficult to navigate right now. I bounce between feeling depressed to a general apathy/numbness to the whole situation. I'm aware i'm not coping with it very well.
I think my biggest question is how I feel there is this expectation to go back to "normal" to how everything was before. Yet only 3 weeks ago I was having thoughts of preparing a will, and how everyone will cope if I die. I don't know how to go back from that.
The illustrator in me thinks of it as you walking along the road of life quite happily, then for a brief moment the world around you blinks out of existence. And you look down and you see the void, going down, down, down - then as quick as it left, everything is back to how it was before. Except you know now that's there, waiting, beyond everything - and you can't forget what it looks like, and how it made you feel.
I was curious if anyone else post-treatment feels / has felt similarly, and what they did to help?
Tomorrow I plan to contact someone in Macmillan to maybe speak to a counsellor.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
