Hi everyone,
I'm a 57 woman and after having a CT scan to check for any abdominal issues (dyspepsia and dysphagia symptoms) it was found that I can a 43mm, heterogeneous enhancing mass lesion on the lower pole of my only kidney. Also enlarged lymph nodes around the area.
I saw my urologist the other day who really wouldn't commit to say exactly what it is, but I now have a uro-oncology nurse to contact should I need.
I am now waiting to have a PET scan, which should be within 4-6 weeks. Really wish the wait wasn't so long, I just want to know one way or another, and what is going to be done about it.
I've been keeping really upbeat so as not to worry my family, but it seems to be taking its toll as I had the most awful nightmares last night and am feeling very alone and tearful today 
Any tips or advice to get through this stage would be amazing and I thank you in advance 
Hello Kittyslim
Welcome to the Online Community.
I am sorry to see that a CT scan has found a mass/lesion on your kidney and some enlarged lymph nodes. I understand how worrying this must be for you. I think sometimes the waiting around while getting a diagnosis or results is one of the hardest things. It does seem to be a long wait for the PET scan. Just a suggestion but do they have a short notice/cancellation list? It might be worth asking in case someone is unable to have one of the day.
You said that you have a uro-oncology nurse you can call and that is good because you have a first point of contact with any questions. Maybe you could ask about the PET scan. She also might be able to give you an idea of what might be ahead with regard to any further tests or treatments. My CNS team were brilliant- before diagnosis and throughout treatment.
The other person I dealt with several times during my diagnosis was my GP. He was able to access information from the hospital and was also able to contact them on my behalf. In the end I did an online consultation with my GP on a Thursday. I was called by the hospital and was in with the consultant on the Friday and on the following Monday I was in surgery.
It is natural to feel alone and tearful, even with people around you, especially when you don't want to worry your family. There is no right or wrong way to feel and I suggest just to go with the flow- to accept that it is normal to feel a bit all over the place at a time like this. I found the time during diagnosis, where there were different tests and results a sort of feeling in limbo. I didn't know what it was definitely, although I had a good idea and I knew what may happen but I didn't know when. It felt a lot better once I knew for sure and I knew what the plan was.
I hope that you do not have to wait too much longer. In the meantime there are a lot of people on the online community who will understand your current situation and will want to offer support.
If it would help to talk to someone there is a support line number at the bottom of this and they are very understanding on there.
Jane
Thank you so much for your support Jane, it's quite a relief that what I'm feeling is normal.
I'm waiting for a callback from my CNS, I've had an telephone appt come through for 7th July and have no idea whatsoever what that's for apart from it being Urology. I have no faith in this departme
from past experience which I think is adding to my anxiety. I don't trust them
I will speak to my nurse about the scan and that I'm happy to be called last minute. I am hoping that my GP will be helpful, I'm just not sure if they have any more information than me at the moment.
I will keep you posted and thank you again so much for reaching out.
Best Wishes
Vicki
Hi Vicki
Glad it helped- my GP was not able to help on every single occasion but was often able to find out a bit more information. My practice nurse also was able to help. Once there is a consultant they can normally help chase things up a bit and even when they couldn't it felt that I was doing something positive and proactive if that makes sense.
I remember the nightmares too, I think it is at night time that worries often surface and I had them often when I wasn't sure what was going to be happening. After I got my diagnosis and knew what was ahead, they did settle a bit.
Post on here as much as it helps. I used to find sometimes just writing it down helped.
Jane
I finally got my appointment through for my PET scan, it's in two weeks time 
I feel a little better knowing that I haven't been forgotten about.
Still the most awful nightmares, every time I get an ache or pain somewhere while I'm asleep, I dream it's spread to that place 
While I'm awake I'm perfectly fine, anxious but I can cope. I have a couple of people I can natter with which is very helpful. My family not so much, my husband gets upset and my daughter is kind of pretending it isn't happening.
Hopefully I shall know what is what in a few weeks
Hi Vicki
Am glad you have an appointment for your scan and 2 weeks isn't too far ahead.
Nightmares are pretty normal in my own experience. I found it worse when it was times where I was waiting and things were still uncertain, once I got the firm diagnosis and a plan things felt a bit better. I also think it is natural to be a bit more aware of any little ache or pain and to attribute it to something more. I certainly did and still do.
It is good that you have a couple of people that you can talk things through with but if you ever feel you need to speak with someone else then I can recommend the support line.
I found to begin with my family was the hardest to deal with. I didn't want to worry or upset them. I think your husband getting upset is normal and also your daughter's reaction of pretending it isn't happening. Perhaps they are just trying to cope in their own ways. Don't forget that Macmillan can also offer support to families if it helps.
I hope that your PET scan goes well and in the mean time we are here if you or your husband or daughter need any further support
Jane
