Hi - I have stage 4 RCC spread to the lungs, too. Can I help? Are you on treatment or waiting for appointments, investigations or results? You probably need to give yourself some time to come to terms with it. Mine had spread before discovery too. It's quite common because a lot of kidney cancers don't result in symptoms.
There are lots of quality treatments out there now. People are still around many years after their diagnosis so don't think it's all doom and gloom.
althoigh I can’t help you in the same way that mumm can, as my situation is totally different, I just wanted to say I am sorry that you feel alone. We are a caring group on this forum and so do keep posting to let us know how you are feeling.
As Mumm says, you will need time to process things and there are all kinds of new treatments being developed and used.
If you aren’t waiting for an appointment in the near future, could you maybe go away for a couple of days, or perhaps go out for a meal or to the cinema, in other words do something nice for you as a couple , whilst it won’t change the situation, it may help to divert your thoughts for a time.
