When my daughter told her close workmate that her scan was all clear, she wasn't expecting the barrage of comments from the rest of the office and it has surprised me how people react when you tell them. Mostly the comments were genuine i.e. "I knew you could do it, you're a fighter" (she didn't really have a choice, it she wanted to live she had to take the treatment) But another lady simply said "There's one to tell the grandkids".......Firstly she is single and already experiencing menopausal symptoms due to the treatment, but secondly I think this is a very insensitive comment.
It has left her wondering what her status is? Is she still a cancer patient? Is she a recovering cancer patient? Is she in remission? It's all very overwhelming. We both got the impression that the general attitude is that now the scan is clear - she is therefore better and able to go back to how things were before, when in reality, she is still so poorly with such a long way to go before she's anywhere back to how she was both mentally and physically.
I guess it's one of those scenarios that you can never foresee or predict. Not ungrateful for kind words, just wish people would think before they jump in - ok I am over protective but I make no apology for that.
Hi again BobbieRosie unfortunately, unless people have personally navigated their own cancer journey most people just don’t know what to say and often say the most stupid things.
Your daughter is entering the final 1/3 of the journey…. the first 1/3rd is the diagnosis period…… with the middle 1/3rd being the treatment…… now it’s the post treatment world.
You may find it helpful….. and indeed your daughter as well, to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
I know a lot of people who have actually done that very thing in their work place……
Actually Lymphoma Action run a very good Lymphoma Focused Live your Life Course that is a peer-led self-management course for navigating the post treatment world - worth having a look ((hugs))
