Hi everyone,
I've been reading through the first few topics on the 'HL' board and wasn't sure if I should post or not but sitting here realising that not everyones experience is the same and people deal with it differently, I thought I'd post how my experience so far is going following a diagnosis of stage 2b HL a week ago.
A little background if you're interested. I'm a 35 year old male, married with 3 lovely kids. I'm a manager at a busy building company (not many of those about these days!) and I have a very relaxed outlook on life generally. As with many males I'm stubborn as a rock. I don't like to pester people unless absolutely necessary. Something I now regret a little but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I feel I need to share my experience. I'm not sure why, as I'm sure this story will reflect many others you've either already heard or have been through yourselves. If you're interested here it is.
Earlier this year (around the end of February) I noticed I'd lost some weight. At the beginning of the year I'd weighed in at around 14st 7lb. I'd lost around 8-9lb and my trousers were a falling off me! I didn't think much of it, although I did wonder how I'd done it. I teased my wife that my 'sit-on-the-sofa-watching-TV' diet was working wonders. I figured I'd probably lost it because we'd stopped snacking in the evening like we used to. It seemed to make sense in my head so I did nothing about it. My wife said I wasn't normal. I just smiled!
The weight kept coming off slowly over the next few months and I was pretty pleased with it although I still wasn't sure how I was doing it. By the time June came round I had lost about a stone and a half. At this point some of my friends were noticing and asking how I was doing it. They all knew I wasn't exactly excercising or dieting. They were as stumped as I was and a couple of them said I should consider going to see my GP.
The only thing was I felt great in myself at that point. The only thing I'd noticed was weight loss and I was enjoying it as I'd been putting weight on for a few years.
By the end of July I'd started getting bad night sweats, my appetite disappeared and I found myself getting tired and out of breath quickly. I still didn't link my weight loss to any of this but I did realise something was wrong.
I did what everyone with an internet connection would do and Googled the symptoms. It scared the hell out of me when I saw cancer as one of the most returned results but I knew I had to go see my GP asap to see what was happening.
The first I could see my GP was the 2nd August. When I went he asked me a few questions and then sent me off for a chest x-ray. Later the same day the CT dept of the hospital called and asked me to go back in for a CT scan the next day. At this point I was getting pretty worried. No-one told me anything till nearly a week later when my GP confirmed they'd found a 'large well defined mass' on the x-ray which was why I'd been in for a CT scan. My GP didn't know what it was but referred me to haemotology, who in turn told me they needed to do various tests.
One (painful) bone marrow biopsy, 1 failed medianoscopy biopsy by the cardiothoracic unit (got a lovely war wound on my neck now), 3 CT scans, 1 PET scan and finally 1 successful needle biopsy later I found myself sitting with my consultant a week ago with him showing me the PET scan and explaining that I had stage 2b HL.
I've never seen a PET scan before. Very interesting. Very eye opening. Scared the daylights out of me when I saw the extent of the problem.
So a week later, I've already had my first course of ABVD and the next is booked in for the 7th October. 2 week cycles for at least 3 months. I'm only having chemo. There are multiple masses so close to me heart I don't think they'd dare risk radiotherapy.
You could say this has come as somewhat of a shock to me. I didn't think I'd get cancer in a million years. It's even more of a shock because I didn't feel even slightly unwell at all until later in July. Things moved so quickly, it was really only the failed medianoscopy biopsy that held things up. The NHS really reacted to this quickly and I'm so grateful for it.
So far I can feel the onset of having a sore mouth. My gums don't feel right and my tongue is quite sore at times. Other than that there's nothing happening in terms of side effects but I'm prepared for them if they do come. I'm still losing weight. When I jumped on the scales this morning I weighed in at 12st 2lb so I've dropped a total of 2st 5lb so far. If there's any silver lining to this at least I've lost some weight that I needed to anyway! I plan to try and keep it off once I'm cured!
Anyway, that's my story so far. Apologies for 'War and Peace'!
Hi Hen/Carol!
I didn't bother my consultants in the end with my sore throat, and boy did I get a roasting from them when I went in to get my penultimate chemo!
I'm just at the point now where I'm feeling well enough again to be posting rather than just reading and thinking how crappy I feel so here's my thoughts....
1 week from now I'll (hopefully) be having the last dose of chemotherapy I'll ever need in my life. I can't celebrate too much yet, but I'm very hopeful that I'm 'cured' for life now. The consultants have been so positive all the way through and to be fair I think I've matched them for positivity!
I've been told by various family members and friends that we're having a big get-together once I'm a month or so past my last treatment, just so I'm feeling top of the world so to speak.
I saw a friend of mine, well I say friend, he was getting the same treatment as myself for the same stage HL as I was diagnosed with, and he finished his 6 months around 6 weeks ago. He said the 3rd week after you finish is almost like being reborn....you've spent 6 months feeling awful/not bad for 2 weeks, well I'm told that 3rd week is the best feeling ever.And it just gets better week by week after that.
We'll see, I'm pretty sure I don't remember what feeling well actually feels like anymore! I'm looking forward to it.
Oddly enough, the 3rd week will coincide with the 1 year anniversary (14th March) of the passing of my father in law, and the 6th anniversary (15th March) of my own dads passing. Seems weird thinking that I'll be physically feeling great but mentally feeling bad again, but it's that time of the year for me I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here.
I'm planning on buying a few large jars of sweets for the chemo unit, I've eaten enough of them during my treatments, I'd feel awful if I didn't replenish the stocks I'd eaten, and then some!
Well, my last scan is booked for the 12th March. I've no idea what comes after that but I'm guessing it'll be regular checkups for a while and then less regular checkups all the way to 5 years. I'll be asking when I see my consultants in a weeks time.
Hope you're both well!
Chat soon!
Gra xxx
Hi Hen?Gra
Well Gra do you feal as nervous as I do cause my last is Wed and your last is Friday oh god it doesn't seam real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got your scan date already? they not told me yet!! and im cheesed off as I got to keep the PICC line in for a month after incase chemo hasn't worked!!!!! so really nervous as keep thinking what do they know they not telling me I know its in my head but you cant blame me as I thought on last day of chemo they would take it out!!
We are planning big party for August 25th so that gives me time to get all clear for a while and our daughter is getting married so as we got horse field at home we going to have party out there he he he!!
Yes Hen
I grow the small gala melons in the south facing greenhouse and they have very sweet orange flesh YUM!! and my strawberrys have been keeping me in home made jam all winter but my pickled beetroot ran out so got to grow a lot more this year!!
It seams strange to think in a month I could be back out there doing the greenhouse and garden I know I will take it slow to start but it will be great to start growing things into life again!!!
Hi Hen/Carol!
I'm not I feel nervous, I think relieved would describe it better for me. It's been so long now, I'm rather looking forward to it.
I'm sure they'll give you your scan date on Wednesday, or at least tell you they've booked it.
We're planning a bit of a party for about a month after I finish the chemo, can't wait for that!
On the car front, I just got back from putting a deposit down on a BMW 335d M Sport!! I've still got a grin on my face as wide as the Grand Canyon! It wasn't the car I thought I'd get but it turned up on the 'net a couple of days ago and it was too good a price to think about any other option. Oh god it's fast....picking it up next Saturday morning, so hopefully I'll not feel too rough from the final chemo, although if I do feel rough I'm sure it wont matter!
The house plans will be on track later in the year, once I've had a couple of months back in full time employment that is! Till then I'll be living on adrenaline everytime I put my foot down in the Beemer!
I'd never have been able to afford it had I not had critical illness cover and the rather unfortunate occurence of having HL. So in that respect I'm glad I was covered for it, I'd advocate having that cover to anyone, although at the time I took it out I didn't think I'd ever need it....famous last words!
My throat is still quite sore, not sure if I should be ringing them again, but for now it's not bothering me much so I'll leave it....
Just think Carol, next week you'll be feeling better and it'll just be all uphill from there! Back in the garden doing what you love soon after!
On that note, I'm off to go and look at pictures of my new car. For the 50th time in the last hour or so...
Speak soon!
Gra xxx
Hi Gra and Carol,
So glad to hear your new car will be arriving soon Gra. I know you have been dreaming of it forever! Are you going to be cruising the streets ...you best not - you may look like the local pimp looking for your bitches!!
Well that could be you and me Carol- you with your juicy, ripe melons (pick line optional extra) and me 1 1/2 stonne heavier ,offering chocolate brownies to passers by!!!
Seriously it feels good to have finished chemo and you two will be there too very soon!!!
Took my oldest daughter to a birthday party yesterday - it was lovely to gossip with the other mums - being normal again without the fear of infection! My husband has hated going to birthday parties, while I've had chemo. He is not one for small talk - I think he sat playing games on his phone instead of watching his daughter climb in Wacky Warehouse!!!
Talking of celebrating finishing chemo, me and husband and friends off to the Governor in Chester for a Michelan starred meal and stay nest month. Planning a holiday to France for later in the year too. This HL malarkey certainly makes you get on with life!!
A party sounds great Gra! You and your new Beemer can be the star attraction!
Still no date for my PET scan.
Smiles and hugs from Happy Hen xxxxx
Hi Lauren,
I am so sorry to hear about your Ca, it is terrible news to receive and the future seems a no no. but please please try to talk to at least someone in your family or boyfirend about your fears and whats on your mind. a problem shared makes it lighter.
I am here on the website due to the sad news of my daughter being diagnosied HL stage 2B on the 13/12/12. she was then 18 yrs old and only two days ago we celebrated her 19th birithday. she is on chemo for 6 months ABVD she had 2B last thursday and we are now waint gfor Pet scan to see if she is yet in some sort of postive remission. fingers and evertthing crossed. she like you was obliviuos to the fact she may have cancer until she had referal to chekc out a lump in her neck at the begining of november last year. She was at college, working in a NH whcih she cant do at mo and looking forward to starting UNI this sept to take a course in nursing. now all that is on hold and we just focus on the here and now and the treatment.
My dauhgter fortunately is able to chat with me and her dad and her boyfirend , she has friends who keep some normality in her life. My dauhgter has been very realistic MORE SO THAN ME ! about all this and she knows that she can always be at risk of this reoccuring. But you need to think ''well , hey I could be so muhc worse off or get run over by a bus. ''
YOU HOLD ON TO YOUR DREAM and once you are well enough continue wiht that dream. it may take longer than you planned but hey who cares, if ever you need a chat I'm here and don't worry if you think your whinning or ranting on your are allowed too.
do you have a specialist nurse you can talk too? they are very good in listening and helping wiht getting info re returning to wokr or college etc. contact a macmillan nurse for a chat .
Take care My dear, Chris x
Hi Lauren
Hen here. Glad to hear you only have one session of chemo left. A rest from being pinned for a while!!
This is the place to whine and moan!!! You are so entitled to because you have cancer, just like me. Maybe we don't have it anymore - only time will tell. I also was diagnosed Stage 2, August last year.
It seemed to take a while for you to be diagnosed, but I guess your symptoms could have been other things. I just had a lump in my neck but it still 3 months to have a biopsy!!
It is scary to think our HL could have disappeared but come back again soon after. I think you just have to get on with your life and try not to stress too much about it. You had to have your chemo, and although we are both now at risk from secondary cancers what could we have done ? Refuse treatment? I think not.
My CT scan after 4 cylces was good showing only a tiny mass of less than 1cm in my chest so they think it is unlikely I will need radiotherapy. Fingers crossed. Hope you are the same.
So you want to be an English teacher? I am a primary school teacher but my parent in-laws are both ex-secondary English Teachers. They loved teachers and I'm sure you will also love it. I would not teach secondary if you paid me double!!!! Where are you hoping to go to Uni?
So what have you been doing during the past 6 months of treatment? I have felt pretty well, but have been off work as I need to stay away from all those germy children!! I have two girls, the youngest being 2. She has gone parttime at nursery so I have enjoyed spending with her and doing the school run with my eldest daughter. I will be off to get her soon.
Post back and chat, moan and whine to your hearts content. It is shit but we just have to get on with it!
Hen xxxx
HI, Lauren
im also 20 well 21 in 6days i was told i had HL on 23rd dec and i've had 1 1/2 cycles of chemo ive got 3 sites, docs not too sure to give my 2 cycles and radio or 4 cycles and radio so we will have to wait and see on that one,
just like you it came as i big shock to me to be told i have cancer, in a weird way i just thought it was mainly older people that got it, my family are very helpful well they aint got much choice as 2 very young children. i also find it quite hard to talk to them about how hard im finding it as i feel that if im strong then so will they.
hopefully we can chat about side effects and how were finding things
speak soon
becky xxx
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