1st Anniversary

Hello everyone,

Exactly one year ago to this very day, my daughter went to hospital for her first round of chemotherapy for Hodgkin's Lymphoma Stage 4. She was 29 at the time so as you can imagine, we saw the New Year in crying, shaking and vomiting.  Little did we know what the next few months would hold in store for us and it has been the worst year of our lives (I won't even share the other misfortunes).

However, here we are 12 months later and she is cancer free and doing physically well.

Her hair has grown back and although it is very short and now wavy, where before it was straight, her mental health is still poor.

I think for me what I find hard is the lack of understanding and empathy from people who she once thought were her friends, and even family outside of these 4 walls have been less than tactful or helpful, insisting that surely if the cancer has gone, why isn't she just going back to work and getting on with her life?

They don't see the scared, fragile person she has become. Too anxious to leave the house, panicking every time she is due her check-up or blood test and hypervigilant to every mark, symptom or anything out of the ordinary.  It would be wrong to say she has survivor's guilt because she is very thankful to still be here, but she is living with a fear of the cancer returning and this is stopping her from moving forwards.

She has private counselling as the NHS couldn't help out but I feel no amount of talking can address how she really feels.

I thought I would share with you today of all days, not only to share the 1st anniversary, but perhaps to anyone who is just at the start of their treatment, that as bad as it can be, there is hope, because my daughter was weeks away from dying but the chemo bought her time with us.

Wishing you all a healthier new year and sending positivity to all.