How to control depression and anxiety whilst on chemo

......climbing the mountain is part of the journey, but remember it’s all a means to an end.

Being a man, I don’t totally get the female prospective on the hair thing but I did have very thick, silver hair so it was frustrating. I was fully aware that my hair would be like snow on a sunny day. It started falling out rather quickly, when I woke up with hair in my mouth one morning, that was it, I went straight to the shower and off it all came.

Yes, it turned a few heads but most people see past the lack of hair. I have a friend who is going through breast cancer. She had beautiful long hair but with three little children she came to the conclusion that getting it all cut short was one thing less to struggle with - and she looks no less beautiful than before, actually she is radiant....... and doing great.

Feeling ashamed and embarrassed is self propagating, the more you think it, the more you will fret over it. Turn these thoughts into milestones on your climb up the mountain, another few steps done, remember you are closer to the top than you were one minute before.

Keep posting, you need to unpack the stuff you are carrying around in this invisible rucksack we all put on at the start of the cancer journey will start to pull you down.

Find someone that you you can sit and unpack your rucksack 

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Supportin your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

((hugs))

Hi Anan,

The other thing I thought of is that you might want to join the Diagnosed at a young age forum group, as it may be helpful to connect with people of a similar age who may be able to share a bit more of how they deal with things? It’s a quiet group, but lots of people do join it sadly, so hopefully there will be people around who are a similar age to you and can help with some of the different challenges you’ll be facing at your age?

Thanks for asking how I’m doing - I’m doing really good thank you. I went through about 18 months of intensive treatment, and there were some tough times, but I am now over 3 years post treatment now and I’m doing good. And that’s one thing that might help too, all of what you are going through now is only temporary, a necessary evil to get you where you want to be.

Re: hair, that is really tough, it’s a stark visual which highlights what you’re going through. We dealt with it with humour in my family - I became Uncle Fester for a bit! I then decided to own it - I decided that what was most important was what was inside me, not what was on the outside. So when it grew back, I was more adventurous, tried new styles, just treated it for what it is, an external add-on, something which didn’t define who I was and how I was going to be on the inside.

Hope this helps.

Greg

Hi Anan,

we are both doing ok, thanks for asking! Daughter still needs a bit of help with her immune system and tires easily but she has been through loads of treatment including 2 transplants and 3 trials. But she’s been in remission since 2011 now. 

That battle of losing hair; have you heard of the charity ‘Look good feel better’? They give lots of free help about make up, managing hair loss, how to handle wigs etc, and it’s amazing! You can apply for a session when you feel ready for it and get to keep all the products (full size!) donated by well known companies. Having not needing chemo but still having hormone busting treatments, I thought I didn’t qualify but I did, had a session and really benefitted! I found looking good on the outside began to help me feel better and more confident on the inside! 

Hugs xxx

Hi Anan

I saw you had quite a few responses but thought I would add one. I hope your okay it's such a tough time. I'm going through relapse of non hodgkins and bit older at 35. I wanted to let you know I made a really good friend whilst in hospital first time in 2017 who had stage 4 hodgkins and she in full remission and doing really well.

Hair loss is really hard I've dealt with it twice now. It grew back nicely dark brown the first time after 2 or 3 months and I had a cute bob after 2 years. I would recommend if you been told its a possible side effect cutting your hair as short as possible to help you. I cut mine it was quite long to pixie before. Buy a cotton nightcap online so if it does come out it caught in the cap at night and not all over your pillow. 

Maybe have a look online or ask your hospital about a wig. They do some really good ones now that no one ever tell some with dark roots so it looks like your hair is naturally growing out and you can get vat exemption form so you don't have to pay the vat. Their pretty easy to wash and dont need doing as much as regular hair. You may prefer scarf or hat I just wore wig for going out. Simply wigs do some good ones jean renau is one of mine. 

I wish you all the best  your be okay

Alice