Suicidal thoughts post treatment

JaneO said:

Sorry for the ramble

How are things today, Jane? Been thinking of you a lot. 

Thank you Gill. It helps to know that others have gone through similar issues and come through them. Now I have stopped crying we have had some good conversations. He really doesn't want counselling as he said he is sick of appointments. I will encourage him to be open about how he is feeling. I think he just needs to know it okay not to feel okay xxx

Thanks Dani. We have had some open conversations about how he is feeling which has helped. He finds it hard that everyone thinks he okay and back to normal when he doesn't physically or mentally feel okay. He said his manager keeps telling how well he is looking! I will struggle to get him to have counselling but I hope that he will accept some help. x

Thank you. I will encourage hubby to look at this website. I was contacted by someone from Macmillan after they picked up on my post. They have provided support and useful information.

Hi Jane.  It's a good sign that you've started to have discussions about how he's feeling as it can help him to move forward.  Does he know that you reached out about his thoughts?  If you did tell him, and he was ok with it, just let him know he's not alone as many others have also had thoughts like his.  A lot of head and neck sufferers endure pretty harsh treatment and memories of it can remain for a long time. I know from personal experience as a carer that others tend to think once treatment has ended, the patient is entirely back to normal.  Not true and feelings of annoyance and frustration often arise because of that.  And on the subject of appointments, we're sick of them too, as it feels they're coming out of our ears!  It's a necessary evil,  and patience is required, but they will gradually diminish and your lives will begin to be your own again.

Wishing you the very best and remember to keep talking as he may relent and agree to counselling in the future.  Look after yourself too as it's hard on the carer's wellbeing being on the front line.

Good luck and hugs xxx

JaneO said:

He finds it hard that everyone thinks he okay and back to normal when he doesn't physically or mentally feel okay.

Hi Jane. The trouble is that the treatment is so invasive and brutal it makes recovery very very hard. 
Have a look at this publication. 
Send his boss a copy? 

https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf