Suicidal thoughts post treatment

Hi JaneO

I am glad that you have reached out for some support.

I can understand that although you realised your husband was feeling low after his cancer treatment, today must have come as a shock. It is understandable that you feel very tearful and emotional. 

I know that you do not want to break any confidences but I do think you need to talk to someone today. 

Is there a possibility that the Friday appointment could be bought forward perhaps. Could you call the GP and explain there is a need for an urgent appointment. 

These may also help

NHS111- 24 hours a day

116 123 Samaritans

Shout 85258- text for Support

Mental health crisis services - Mind

Do you feel able to call the Support Line and talk things through with someone who will understand?

Jane

Hi Jane as the other Jane suggested see if you can get an urgent referral today. Head and neck cancer patients are often given anti depressants it’s not unusual. Our treatments is brutal and it affects many people in different ways. I class myself as very very lucky I’m a glass half full person and I managed to maintain that. Many many others aren’t there’s no shame in it often our other half take the brunt  if our mood swings or maybe in your husbands case he’s back at work and maybe he is struggling.  Outside we look normal but the turmoil can be inwards treatments hard and side effects can be debilitating. Please try  to contact  someone today. Using the numbers Jane 2511 gave. 
hugs 

Hazel xx

Thank you. I just phoned the DRs and was told that the medication review is with the surgery's pharmacist not a doctor. I was told to ring back at 8.30am for an appointment tomorrow. I wanted to say how urgent it was but I just started crying so hung up. 

He's on nights so he's asleep at the moment. I know I can't make any appointments without him agreeing anyway as he just won't go. 

I will call one of the numbers you have suggested once I've collected myself enough to speak.

I appreciate your support and advice.

Hi Jane

I know it is hard to speak when you are upset- but when you have collected yourself a bit- try the Macmillan Line- they are really supportive on there. 

Emotional, financial and physical help for people with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

I know myself that once treatment is done and life begins to get back to pre cancer routines- it can be when the processing starts. I myself had a different cancer but had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy and I know how brutal the journey can feel at times. Although it is really scary- he has reached out to you and told you how low he feels and this is a first step. You both need support through this and we are here for you. 

Please do give the Support Line a call. They can then talk it through with you and suggest the best help for you both

Jane

The treatment is very hard on us physically and mentally, recovering is slow and depression can set in, flashbacks/PTSD are common among patients, counselling is available from GPs, get in touch with your GP straight away, help should only be a phone call away.

Hi Jane. So sorry to hear about your husband's struggles with depression and the extreme concern it is causing you. I went through a similar time when I felt so low that I didn't know how I could go on. I ended up crying during my appointment with my consultant and he was such a great support and pointed me in the right direction to get some help. I found talking about my issues really helped me. Counseling can make such a difference along with anti depressants. Go along with your husband to his appointment and raise your concerns even if he doesn't want you to.

There is light at the end of the tunnel with some help. I am doing really well now and am back to fully enjoying my life. It takes time to adjust to the challenges after head and neck cancer treatment but you do get there in the end as I can confirm.  Life can be good again. Look after yourself too as you are an important support person for your husband. 

Sending you positive thoughts

Lyn

Thank you x

Thank you for sharing your experiences, Lyn. It does help to know things can and will get better xx

Hi Jane.  We've spoken before over on the Larynx forum and I'm so sorry you're both going through troubling times.

You may remember that my fella had a TL and although he kept reassuring me he was ok, I was never convinced.  I'd secured him a referral for counselling, with his permission, but I realised it would take time to move up the list.  During the wait, his tearful episodes became more frequent and I finally got it out of him it was because he couldn't speak.  I'd expected just that and told him no more bottling up, to write down his thoughts and feelings and we'd talk them through.  It helped him a lot and by the time we saw the clinical psychologist, he was receptive towards her advice.  She was reassured enough to discharge him, but the help's always there if needed.

He's now in a much better place; back to acting daft and making me laugh - result x two!  We've got a plan in place to hopefully resolve his speech issue and that's helped him too.

No-one should suffer in silence as the help should be there when you need it.  And if it isn't, don't be afraid of pushing as it often pays dividends.

Take care and hugs xxx

 JaneO 

Everybody else has given you excellent avenues to pursue 

I was married to an alcoholic. I know it’s not the same but in a way there is a  similarity in that he wouldn’t do anything get the ball rolling to help himself. His depression was awful to watch, fuelled ever deeper by alcohol. 
Have a look at this charity offering counselling. Maybe you could persuade him to at least look at the website. 
Considering what we go through I’m surprised more of us don’t succumb to PTSD but there is a way out. It’s nit easy and it’s by no means a sign of defeat to seek help. 
My thoughts are with you. I now how hard it is. 

Have a look here 

https://cancersupportuk.org/