My luck has finally run out

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Sorry to share bad news on what is such a helpful and positive forum, but, after 4 successful lots of cancer treatment in the last 10 years, it seems that the fifth is likely to be my last. I’ve been told by my wonderful ENT surgeon that my latest tumour is on the base of my tongue, close to my larynx, so the surgery would be radical and life changing. I’ve been through so much in the last 10 years - neck dissection, chemo-radiotherapy, lung resection, surgery on my tongue and then on my throat - that I really can’t face any more. They admitted that it might not even get rid of the cancer anyway. So, the choices put before me were: do nothing and maybe live for six months; further tests to see if I’m ok to have immunotherapy; have chemo. After some discussion we decided to try the immunotherapy route and, good news, I’m suitable. It won’t cure me but may give me more time, possibly up to two years. I have to admit that over the past 10 years, in the darkest times, I’ve had those conversations in my head about dying, but then it was just a theory, now it’s actually going to happen. I can’t believe it’s real, that this is what it’s come to, and I have to come to terms with it. It’s not even like I’m old, I’m 67, still so much living to do! I’ve got a great medical team, lovely family but they’re also suffering, and I start immunotherapy on Tuesday. Hoping that I respond well and have minimal side effects. 

  • Oh Peach Flamingo I am so sad for you. You have been through such a lot already. Like you I have been on the cancer journey for 10 years and the cause of my cancer is only managed but never cured. I am currently in remission but I always have in the back of my mind the possibility of it recurring.

    I do hope that the immunotherapy proves really successful and you have the chance to make a lot more memories. Life is sometimes so unfair.

    Thinking of you and sending you love and hugs.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Hi Peach Flamingo,

    Its heartbreaking to read your post and I can only imagine the pain and suffering the last 10 years have brought.

    But you are amazing !…10 years of coping with this bloody disease and now looking at immunotherapy ..like others have said immunotherapy has some brilliant results and can manage the cancer like Sophie66.

    I know it must be such a worrying time for you and your family but we will be here whenever you need support.

    Sending a huge hug to you x

    Debbie

  • I hope your first session of immunotherapy went well. 

    Thinking of you and sending you loads of love. 

    Fab1

  • Hi Peach

    This is not a message that any off us want to read but thank you so much for sharing. It has broken my heart & whilst I, as we all on this site I am sure have, have thought about this scenario. I have no idea what you must be going through. My thoughts are with you but please try to enjoy any good times that come your way & know that everyone on this site has your back

    Wishing you my very best x

  • Thank you. It was painless and the staff were very kind and reassuring. Just brought back memories from almost 10 years ago when I was on the same unit having my first cancer treatment. At least I don’t have to go so often as I did back then. I’ll let you know if I get side effects but they said it’s fairly unlikely. 

  • Thank you Blush I’m feeling a bit more positive now I’ve had my first treatment x

  • That’s reassuring. What immunotherapy are you on? 

    Dani 

    Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019

    I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below 

    https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

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  • Hi Dani,

    I’m on Pembrolizumab. Don’t know if that’s the one that’s usually used for H& N cancers. 
    I’m trying to think positive because my first grandchild was born this morning, in the USA. I’m sure you can imagine how happy, and yet how sad, I’m feeling right now. 

  • Hi Peach Flamingo 

    Glad to hear the first lot of immunotherapy went well .x

    We all  rooting for you…. and your first Gran child CongratulationsTada

    I can only imagine the sadness coming in waves but let it take you then bring you back to the feelings of joy that you are a Grandparent…

    It must be hard when they are in America but seeing your Grandchild on a live app ( like whattsapp)will Im sure bring you lots of love and happiness xxx

    Good luck for next immunotherapy session x

    Debbie

  • Thank you.  I think WhatsApp is a great invention, thank goodness for technology!