Depression and loss of hope

So sad to hear about your husbands awful depression after putting his life and soul into coping with a dreadful treatment. Macmillan offer some free counselling if you feel he could benefit. Give them a call. There is info here https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/bupa-counselling-and-emotional-well-being-support

Thus essay by a clinical psychologist involved in cancer care is definitely worth a read too 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

He does need professional help. In these parlous times we have to be extra proactive. It’s good he has you to fight his corner. 
Best wishes 

Hello. Sorry to hear how low your husband is feeling. After my treatment had finished, in the weeks of feeling cast adrift & struggling to see how I would ever feel joy or hope again I contacted Macmillan live chat. I had been having very dark thoughts & reached out for help. After a phone assessment I was offered 6 free counselling sessions. I found them extremely helpful & would highly recommend them. Could you suggest this to him?

Thank you. We have the support he just won't take it  We have the essat you suggested x

Would he read this forum? 
Because there is life and a good one to be had after this terrible treatment. Lots of us here are living proof. 

Hi.  I had a similar cancer, tumour in the Prirfossa. I'm 8 months post treatment, pump feeding still cannot swallow safely, very little taste no salivary glands still!! Lost 3.5 stone!

  I had some black, black days, some very tearful days, days when I barely moved.  Its a very nasty form of cancer, you cannot avoid your throat!  I decided against the Setraline and focused on getting out and trying to walk. I have Flo, my highland terrier, who was a great motivator at times.

  I had a great network around me who practically did everything for me for months.  I look back now 8 months later. I have made huge progress so has your husband I would imagine.  My kinesiologist I pay to see has helped me no end. She put me on a high dose of vets Bcomplex, D, Selenium and zinc. Over the months I feel things have improved. She said to me  "it's not just the cancer that died, it's your whole body that's been to hell, it all needs realigning, it all needs treatment."

My neck was so swollen she suggested I massaged hemp oil, good for inflammation and swelling, it has certainly helped.  She spent a lot of time treating my neck and throat, I still can't swallow well or eat much but I see ENT this month, not holding my breath, but I just hope this is about healing. She reckons with this type of cancer and treatment, 2 years!!!!!!

As hard as I sound, it's very much mind over matter, a day atbaxtime and listening to your body.  Finding something that gives you a good kick, with the dog I knew she had to go out, so I started off very short walks with somebody with me and just slowly, slowly worked on it. She became my friend at-home when I was there alone, believe me she listened to some right old hysteria at times! She saw a gallons of tears, anger and total quiet!!!    I'm no advocating a dig but for me she got me over that hump and did my cats, they were a constant who didn't need to speak or have an opinion! She came in thecshower and slept wherever I dropped off!!!!!

It's so hard, I'm in bed by 9 because I don't funcion well after about 7.  So, I would suggest its a very long journey, its a brutal journey and a very dark journey. I just want to be me again although  I really don't belive I'll ever be me again but I'll settle for 75%!!!!!!!!!

It's just a question of getting through it the best way you are able to.  I am very conscience of my network, they went through enough, it nearly destroyed by sons and my sister, we had lost my dad, brother and mum and 2 close cousins unexpecedly  in 26 months, then me.  So, I made a conscious decision that I had to get through because not only me but because of them.  Another tradegy wasn't an option.  It was the strangest mind set that kept me pushing!!!!

This is probably of very little help to you, it is just my perspective and it helps to write. That's another thing, keeping a bullet point journal, writing things down helps perspective, it might him. To look back after a month a see progress is quite a motivator.

Anyway, I wish you all thevvery best and you........be kind to yourself, give yourself a break we need you and can't manage without you!!!!!!!     X

Reiterating what Dani has said treatment is hard it’s brutal many if us felt like we were in a tunnel with no escape. I was lucky in that respect but ive  helped lots if others turn a negative in to a positive along with our lovely others in here. . 5 years ago this month I got my diagnosis exactly  31  years  to the date after my dad got his cancer diagnosis 6 months  later he died. But look at my blog try and get him to read our personal ,experiences  s I’m living a good a life as before if not better in many respects. It’s made me a kinder person helping others in here just by saying a few words of encouragement in some cases. 
what people don’t realise radiotherapy to,our most delicate area of the mouth can and does  have debilitating side effects. Our mouths and throats are vital,too,our existence and they go through hell and back. I do hope he can get through this next period.

lhugs Hazel . 

Thank you for telling me your story very insightful and a great help x 

Thank you xx Cancer's shitty at the 'best' of times but in the throat seems doubly hard

Unlikely.  He's a Yorkshire man and rather stubborn!