Feelings

Hi Bodyfirst. You are spot on the way our emotions swing from attack and hope to despair. When I was diagnosed over three years ago I felt cheated, ashamed,frightened,resentful and self pitying all in one five minute period. I looked at the world and hated how everybody could go about their own smiling happy lives WHEN I HAD CANCER! I never asked,  "Why me?"  though because we all know the answer is "Why not me?" I was never afraid of dying, we all have to do that, but I despaired at being a burden on my husband and felt like crawling away over what I was going to put him and my daughter through.

I had to shake myself and pull myself together many times.

My consultant sat me down to go through all the horrid things that MIGHT happen but that he would cure me. Most things didn't and he did.

Once you have a treatment plan in place and dates to start you will feel better and just get on with it and you will come out the other side: a bit battered but fixed, nevertheless.

Don't give up. Take it day by day and you'll get there.

Best wishes

Hi Bodyfirst I see I responded to an earlier post.  That still stands. 

Going back to your days in the Army - you know why you were not fearful getting into that firefight!  We were trained for it and we had our buddies watching our backs so had a safety net.  Here we can't be trained for this firefight, but you can be assured that your buddies on here have your back and will stay with you as long as you want.

As to the emotional swings we all get them from time to time.  Normally at really stressful periods in our treatment cycle - and diagnosis is probably the most stressful time.  So you're quite normal, but it still hurts.

Hi Bodyfirst

I can only reiterate what Dani and Peter have said.  It's perfectly natural that your emotions will be all over the place.

There's always someone here who can offer support.

Linda x

Hi Welcome from me as well. The integers have said it all we all swayed emotionally until plans are in place and treatments underway. There a strong grouo if us in here who have been there done it got the t shirt. There’s always one of us who around  to listen ,there’s nothing likie first hand experience.Just keep off Google when are you next at hospital ?

Hazel x

I'm back Friday for a CT scan and a MRI scan. I should get results from biopsy week after.

Thanks 

Hi Unfortunately the waiting is by far the worst part, our minds go into overdrive. There is a protocol for all cancers it’s a tried and tested pathway which we all want to faster. Everything x for you. Head and neck cancers do respond very well to treatment try to remember that.

Hazel 

I have had a not great pet scan result and need further surgery to find out what is going on. I am lurching between blind panic to its ok, I'm fine, I have done this before!!  Absolutely hate the not knowing and the waiting, its the worst bit.