Post treatment Depression

Cashmore...welcome to the community. It's hard being a glass half empty person with this disease. I know because I am one.

Your husband really needs to seek some help with this. You might have to override his opinion on family knowing and enlist their help in getting through to him. He's frightened of dying and cant cope. Macmillan are offering six sessions of counselling which is free Counselling

There's an excellent publication by psychologist Dr Peter Harvey that might help you even if he won't read it After The Treatment Finishes

To help yourself there is an excellent group here on Macmillan that you might consider joining Carers Group

And you could also give the Swallows cancer charity a ring. They deal a lot with carers and the number is manned 2r4 hours a day 

24/7 Support Line 07504 725 059

The Swallows

Best wishes and I hope you can find your way through this

Cashmore - I’ve experienced both being a (cancer) patient and being in the carer role. The reality is that both situations bring their own very real struggles.

Beesuit is absolutely right to point out, not only the options for your husband to get support, but also that you will need support in your very demanding role as supporter to a husband with cancer.

Sometimes the carer does tend to get neglected, whilst the person with cancer is effectively the centre of all attention.

You sound as if you are doing your absolute best for your husband, but do try and get the support you need and deserve too.

Sending you warmest good wishes.

Life is never easy when cancer about try and get some time for yourself sending you best wishes. I was the one with cancer and felt so much pressure on my husband and he was a rock, and I wasn't always easy to live with.

HivCashmore can’t add anything to what Dani has says but please get help. Sound like your husband is depressed as well . I was the one with cancer luckily I’m a very positive person it wasn’t going to beat me. Even so I kniw some days I wasn’t particularly kind to my hibby who did everything for me. Hope you get some answers. 
Hazel xx

Hi Cashmore

What a very horrible situation for you and your husband to be in. He is understandably depressed as he has been through a lot and it is taking its toll on him and unfortunately as his supportive partner you are in the firing line and it is taking its toll on you too.

Unfortunately he is the only one who can change things but he is in no position to be able to do this without some help.

Is there an appointment coming up with your husband’s surgeon that you could also attend? This would be an opportunity to bring up with the surgeon the problem that your husband is going through. When I was feeling very down and tearful after my surgery and radiotherapy my husband came with me when I saw my surgeon and brought the issue up. The surgeon was very supportive and pointed me in the right direction sending me to my G.P. and giving me other suggestions. It was a turning point for me.

If not could you make an appointment with your husband’s G.P. and give your husband an ultimatum that he needs to come with you to the appointment if he wants to see his way forward with his situation.

He definitely needs some tough love to help him to move on as he is understandably fearful of the future.

As the others have said look after yourself too as you are so important as your husband’s support person.

Wishing you both the best as you move forward.

Lyn