End of life symptoms

Really saddened to read this Sky, my heart goes out to you; I went through similar with my mum about five years ago, it's really hard. I'm afraid I've no idea on time left, my mum hung on for months but my father-in-law went within ten days of diagnosis.

I'd actually suggest that maybe you join the "Supporting someone with incurable cancer" group on the forum, they'll possibly be in a better place to help you through this. Will be thinking of you x

Hi Mike, thank you so much for this , il join it now xx

Hello Sky

I'm so sorry to read about your mum.

My 93 year old father in law, Neri,  was diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2015 and had surgery in an attempt to remove it.  Unfortunately it wasn't possible to do so and due to his incapacity from the surgery he moved in with us so we could care for him.  He too had the tumour erupt through his neck which grew rapidly.  At this point the District Nurse attended daily to change the dressings.

There was a rapid decline in Neri's health until it got to the point where he was unable to get up the stairs and became doubly incontinent.  From this point Neri died just a few days later.

It's so difficult to judge how much longer someone can go on for.  In Neri's case the huge operation and his age would have been against him although up until the surgery he was still very fit and able for his age.

We were in close contact with our GP who visited when Neri became very poorly and confirmed that he was nearing the end.  Are you receiving any visits from the Macmillan nurses?  They may also be able to guide you and if the palliative care nurses are attending I'm sure they would also give you some indication when things take a turn for the worse.

I wish you and your sister all the very best.  Take care of yourselves.

Linda x 

Hi Linda, thank you so much for sharing your story with Me & so sorry for your loss. The palitive care nurse has said need to take one day at a time but she is showing sings of deteriorating & the district nurse said when they think she needs a driver is usually few weeks after that but she’s not at that stage yet this was about 1 month ago! I suppose all we can do is be here for her as much as possible & take every day as it comes I just wish I didn’t need to go to work & I could put my full focus on her the way it should be .

thanks again. Take care 

I can completely understand taking one day at a time.  Neri died within a couple of days of going onto the driver but it may well be different for your mum.  I think you'll get an inkling when the time comes.

My heart goes out to you for having to juggle work and caring for your mum.  I was very fortunate as I was self-employed and able to stop working to care for Neri while my husband continued to work.

I'll be thinking of you.

Linda x