This may sound like a stupid question, but when you are over the worse and no longer receiving treatment do you miss the time when you were unwell?
I was initially supposed to be in hospital for 2 or 3 weeks which ended up being 7 and apart from the 1st night, loved it
I loved my weekly appointments with my different teams
Apart from the side effects, I loved the days I spent having my chemotherapy and apart from the travelling even enjoyed my radiotherapy sessions
I had a few complications which meant I was back and forward and in and out of hospital for a few months and was even (although I hate to admit it) slightly disappointed that I was discharged on 20th December so missed Christmas Day in hospital.
Here I am now, 15 months after last radiotherapy session, declared cancer free, only having appointments every 12 weeks, feeling pretty good, but almost missing it all
Do others go through this?
I can totally relate to that Penrod. The time I was "released" from treatment I felt great but was then hit with a depression I just can't describe after a few weeks; I completely shut down, never felt anything like it in my life. To the World and all my family and friends it was great because I'd made it through but the lack of professional care after being under such intense help for so long was horrible.
I saw a counsellor and got anti-depressants from my GP and the worst of it passed but I completely get what you're saying.
Using analogy it's maybe like a really intense love affair which suddenly ends and everyone thinks you're well out of it when perversely it did give you a lot of joy. I met such wonderful people over my treatment and they just weren't there anymore; there is still a big part of me that's grateful for what happened because I met these people, professionals and fellow patients alike that otherwise would never have crossed my path.
I think it's why I still spend a lot of my time on here, I feel connected and bonded to people who have gone through what I did or are going through it. Nobody else can really understand (in my case not even my wife) what we go through apart from the others who've done it. It's tough.
I'm actually a bit emotional after typing that, welling up a bit.
That said many move on, put it behind them and get on with their lives. Nothing wrong with that, we're all different.
Metastatic SCC diagnosed 8th October 2013. Modified radical neck dissection November, thirty-five radiotherapy fractions with 2xCisplatin chemo Jan/Feb 2014. Recurrence on larynx diagnosed July 2020 so salvage laryngectomy in September 2020.
