Post treatment recovery

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Hi, I am 2 months post treatment for tonsil cancer HPV etc. Had 30 RT and 6 Chemo sessions (Cisplatin) and a range of physical side effects including, taste, dry mouth, radiation effects on my skin nausea, loss of appetite and revulsion to all food, exhaustion to name a few. I also became fully dependant on my PEG for nutrition. I am now able to consume orally but still have thw PEG in place. My mouth is still horribly dry and my throat feels constricted when swallowing, i am still getting exhausted.

First ENT follow up was positive, got another at the end of the month and I am waiting for a PET scan appointment.

I have been so positive throughout my treatment and posted updates on my socials to keep friends and family informed with honest and lighthearted updates. Now I just feel so down, I don't know how to explain it. Some days I feel like a fraud, I feel like the old me, then i get active, walk the dog, do bits around the house then i hit a wall and have to sleep. I eat but don't enjoy food due to taste issues. I feel a bit hazy mentally. I feel quite emotional.

What do i do? Anyone else feel the same? 

Thankfully my employers have so far been very supportive which is a great help financially.

  • Most of us recognise these symptoms, we have been through a lot physically and mentally.... fatigue and PTSD can hit out of the blue...things do get better as we move forward...taste massively improved for me around the 1 year post treatment mark...getting rid of my PEG  tube was a great boost.

    Contact your CNS/GP for advice....or look for local cancer support groups

    Michael

  • Hi Ade, yes it's a very strange time. After being at the hospital every day you suddenly feel alone and nothing seems to be happening. This is normal and so are your side effects. It is such a very slow process with the swallow and dry mouth. Or at least it was/is for me. It does improve but to what extent is so very variable. I still struggle to swallow and only really eat soft foods. I can push some other food down with water but it's such a chore. Dry mouth has improved but again mine is very dry, I use xylimelts night and day and chewing gum helps too. Everyone is different and you will find your normal but it takes time. I'm 2 years out of radio/chemo in August. 

  • I am 11 weeks in recovery after the same treatment as yourself i felt all you have, but have improved vastly over the last month especially with eating and swallowing which has helped my mood no end .I was still feeling crap at 7to 8 weeks and wondered if it would ever get better but it has ,my taste is good and certain foods i still struggle with but im getting there .Try not to overdo things take it easy you will not be able to do things like you could before treatment go with the flow its a marathon not a sprint but you will improve as the weeks go by .Dont feel guilty about needing a rest or a sleep its ok its its part of the recovery talk to your cancer team if your concerned about anything .Good luck .

  • I can feel this to my very COREand am just so touched by your Courage and Sharing.

    I am At the Very Stsrt if Your Path...turn Around... U see the Pink Haired Lady Waving? That's me!...I H8 All of this 4 ALL of Us, but Can I just Say...I Feel So Fortunate We R All Here 2gether!

    I am soooo Sorry U R feeing Poorly and Results R Shit so Far....But U R My Hero 4 Going thru it and Sharing UR Reality In Real Time. UR No Imposter, U R the Most 4 Real....Know I am here holding you hand in my heart and sending Only Good Vibes UR way or Whatever Vibes U Need 2 Feel a Bit Lighter!

    U R Blazing the Path I Must Also Travel and 4 that I have no words... except that UR One Bad Ass Human who is Allowed 2 Feel Any Dayum Way U Feel about this Absolute Fckn Dump Truck Fire of a Shit Show. Its Straight Crap and the Only way Out is Through and the Only way Through is Letting URself BE!

    UR Doing it All Just Right 4 U!

    I am sooo Thankful 4 U Being Here 4 me 2 by Sharing...I maybe behind ya but Im here 4 U 2....U Rock!

    •  :)
  • Hi Ade. I remember all too well the fatigue that just wouldn't seem to go away. I never thought I would have energy again and then one day suddenly out of the blue I started to feel better and after that day be day my energy returned. It was a real turning point for me. Up until then my husband used to virtually drag me along when we went out and the thought of walking even a short distance was just too much for me. Hold in there it does get better and you do get your energy back and start feeling good again. Unfortunately part of the process.

    Sending you positive thoughts.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • Hello Ade, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. You're not long out of treatment and it's a tough time - recovery takes a while. You will get there! Be kind to yourself & rest lots. Your eating ability and taste will gradually return. I'm so glad your employer is supportive. Maybe be honest with your friends about how you're feeling, and/or have a rant on here any time. Take it one day at a time and before you know it you'll be so much better & ready to enjoy the summerSun with face

    Catriona

    September 2022 aged 63 diagnosed with HPV associated SCC base of tongue T4 N2 M0. Chemo & radiotherapy for 6 weeks ending Nov 2022. Now over 3 years all clear. See my profile for longer story