Im new here . My husband was diagnosed today.

Hi Debbie.  A warm welcome on behalf of the forum and sorry you find yourself here.

I am sure someone will be along soon who has had cancer in the vocal chords - mine was in the base of tongue.  The vast majority of us with head and neck cancer get through the treatment and out of recovery to have a long and fulfilling life afterwards.  There is no denying that the treatment is harsh and tough on both the patient and the people around him.  Recovery is long - a marathon rather than a sprint.  But take heart that many of these cancers have a very high cure rate and although our lives are different after treatment we do have a good quality of life.

Stay with us as we are good a listening without judging and offering support and advice when you (and he) need it.

Hi Dragonflydebs, welcome to the group from me. There is no need to be sorry you are not rambling, you are very upset, and we all understand that. Hopefully reading some of the posts on here will give you some reassurance that these cancers are very curable. The treatment is harsh, and a long recovery follows, however the cure rate is very high, there are many on this forum who are living proof of that. Feel free to come on here with any questions or worries you have, we are all here to help where we can.

Ray.

Thank you for the positive words ...  

Thank you so much  

Hi 

I can relate to your feelings. My husband is on his 2nd week of chemoradiotherapy for tonsil cancer and I'm still a mess. So much so that I'm definitely more a mess than he is and that leaves doubts in my ability to support him. He seems to be so matter of fact about things whilst I'm continually crying. It's so hard. 

Me too this is what im thinking im the one who needed the tissues when we were being told, im the one that keeps randomly crying all day hes very matter of fact about it .. and then I feel guilty for being a mess when hes so calm about it ... 

We agreed that we are both very different and deal with things differently. And we talked about our feelings and decided that although we couldn't change what each other were feeling or thinking neither of us was right or wrong. Both of our feelings are valid just shown differently. But what we do know is that we love each other and that togetherness will get us through. Try talking to him about how you feel.

We did today on the 45 mile drive home today .... he knows what I'm like and I know what he's like....  I suppose I just feel silly crying so much when hes so rational

You are definitely not silly. And I strongly suspect he's probably not as rational as you think. Underneath he's as scared as you no doubt. Just hold his hand at appointments and keep letting him know you are there. 

Hi Debbie ,welcome from me, my cancer was tonsil cancer. We’re a friendly bunch always willing to help or just listen  we never judge, feel free to rant. Head and neck cancers do respond well to treatment it’s not  always easy but you've done the hard part you've had your first appointment and now on the start of his treatment and recovery. As to why he’s had cancer again sometimes we are just unlucky. As the statistics show one in two of us will get cancer at some point. Both Dani  and I know a lady who has tonsil cancer followed the next year with lymphoma ( not related )   Then got over that only for her husband to get prostrate cancer but they are both still around and enjoying  holidays abroad. Stick with us in here 

hugs Hazel