Support advice needed

Hi Beach123. My husband was diagnosed with tonsil cancer with lymph nodes in January.  Do you know the staging of your brothers cancer. My husbands was stage 2 hpv positive. His treatment was daily radiotherapy for 6 weeks and weekly chemo for 5 weeks. He finishes his treatment tomorrow. I won't lie it is tough but doable. I think you should just be on the end of the phone. It's a very individual thing and emotions run high. But with support he will get through it. 

Good wishes

Sue

Thankyou. He has a good support network where he lives fortunately for practical help.

This forum seems very useful for me to gain understanding and consequently support him.

Beach123 said:

Do you have any suggestions of ways that I can assist him and his family?

Hi 

practically this will be difficult as you say but if you stay with us this community is a mine of information and experience as he goes forward with treatment. 
The gold standard treatment for this is chemotherapy and six weeks of radiotherapy. He may have surgery to remove the tonsils and he may have a neck dissection to examine not only the lymph node that is affected but neighbouring ones also. 
It’s not easy  but doable. The vast majority of oropharyngeal cancer is caused by HPV which is very sensitive to radiation giving cure rates in excess of 90%

Hi. It will so depend on the treatment they plan. Everyone’s different but it’s also good to remember that those who end up taking the brunt of his care might also need some support.

I was probably pretty horrible to those around me at times - so try not to take anything personally. 

and of course how brilliant that you want to be there for him - that will be worth a lot. 

x

Hi and welcome from me.  Lots of good info already, but 2 points that are not related to supporting him but may help you ease your mind. 

Firstly that unlike many cancers spread to the lymph nodes in a head and neck cancer is not unusual in the early stages and is not generally regarded as leading to a poor outcome.

Secondly although the treatment is brutal and the recovery long and tough there is a very high "cure" rate of around 90% in the UK (you don't say where he is, but I imagine it is similar in most developed nations) and most of us go on to live a good quality of life for many years afterwards.

Stay with us and maybe encourage him to join the group.  We are not solely UK based.

Depending on his reaction to standard  treatment, radiotherapy/chemotherapy, speaking can be difficult, sometimes impossible, I'm sure regular texting would help your brother support-wise, family and carers would also appreciate your long distance support, in any form.

Thankyou. Yes this community is giving me a lot of information and I really appreciate it. 

Thanks. I will mention the group to him when the time feels right. Thankyou.

Hi welcome from me I’m 7 years post chemo radiotherapy for tonsil cancer with affected lymph nodes. My blog below might help you with my experience. Any questions  ask in her we’re all happy to help. 

be there for him via a what’s app call or maybe his family will do a weekly update for you I did my blog ti help my husband and famiky plus it helped me as it was the onky thung i had control over   

hugs Hazel 

Hi I was diagnosed with HPV base of tongue cancer 2023. I had surgery and neck dissection cancer had gone to 3 lymph nodes so had radiotherapy as well.  They also took my tonsils out for precaution. My brother also lives abroad and we are very close. To be honest I think it was harder on him as he felt helpless.  He now knows he was a pillar of strength to me as just being able to WhatsApp him and him being on the end of the phone was enough.  Just let your brother know you are there day and night that will be enough.  X