Gathering Information For Consultation.

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I was wondering if anyone could provide  advice on the following: 

  1. I have read a number of posts where people don't have a primary site am I correct in  assuming that if I have  a lesion on my  tongue  this is my primary?
  2. The consultant provides me  with a suggested plan but I need. Make the ultimate decision?   
  3. Do I have to make the decision on the day?
  4. How long between plan and surgery/treatment starting?

Thanks!