28 year old female singer, vocal cord cancer

Hi bpen welcome to our community group sorry you’ve found yourself on here I am Hazel now four years post radiotherapy and chemo for tonsil cancer with several affected lymph nodes happy living my life. Treatment if you go down the radiotherapy route isn’t always easy but I was 61 and I did it the younger you are the better some seem to cope. 

This is honestly the worst part where do you get a treatment plan everything falls into place keep popping on the forum everyone is happy to help. Best advise I can give you keep off dr Google a lot of info isn’t regulated in there unless you know where to look. Stick on here and your cancer nurses. 
hugs Hazel x

Hi bpen 

Welcome from me too. 
To have such a cancer at your age is quite rare. Sorry you’re in this fix. 
Can you ask your Speech and Language team whether EMST might help. It’s helped a few others here, not just for swallowing which is what it was designed for

It’s worth a Google. 

www.cuh.nhs.uk/.../

Hi Bpen and welcome from me.  I can't even begin to imagine how terrible the cure has been for you - loosing the ability to do what you love doing.  We all loose something to the cancer, but many of us go on to have a good quality of life afterwards.  I hope you can reconcile what has happened and gain the strength in knowing that it is unlikely to return.  You may have a different life going forwards, but it has every chance of being a good and long life.

A few of us have had a return of the cancer.  However, the reason the keep us under regular review is to ensure that if anything does return it is caught early and dealt with before it becomes a really serious issue.  That is why it is important to go to your checks, understand what your new body feels like and raise any issues ASAP with your clinical team.

We all worry about changes to us post treatment.  I've had 3 occasions when I have had such worries.  Each time I've been taken very seriously and seem - often within 24 hours - and fortunately in each case it was not  cancer returning.  That said, it was my consultant that saw during a visual inspection a small change which, when investigated, was a tumour; hence the need to keep those appointments.

As for tips to staying positive.  You have made the first step in finding this forum and the love and support that is on here.  Other than that I would say get out push your boundaries and explore the world now that covid is allowing us to travel.

Hi bpen

Welcome but sorry for the reason you are here.

So sorry to read your struggles with anxiety and depression and loss in strength of your voice reducing it to a whisper after your treatments. You could maybe see your GP for some help and direction with the anxiety and depression.  The people in this community are great too as a way of support. All of us feel anxious about the twinges  after treatments this is a normal response, anything that worries  you relay these back to your team. Take each day as it comes we all know how hard things can be in the early days.

I have had a different op to you but  some of us can share similar problems and how we find our own ways around them. I have my own problems with speech, different to yours and had to adapt to doing things a bit differently. 

My tips to help cope at the moment is to do something you are able to do everyday that you enjoy and not too tiring for you.  Things like a gentle stroll out, meet up with trusted friend/s  family to help you and support you whilst out and about. I like emailing as a way of communicating it is like letter writing to me. Having my own troubles with speech it is so nice that I can communicate  this way with clarity. I also use my own sort of sign language when needed. It is amazing how we can find a way to be understood. I sometimes take pen and paper with me because my speech can be difficult  for people to understand. I enjoyed singing it was a loss to me when I could not sing as I used to. I eventually took up playing the tenor recorder again and got enjoyment from playing this as a way of my musical expression. 

It is early days into your recovery and this can be the hardest part. 

Wishing for you the very best with your ongoing recovery

NIcky

Hi bpen

I am so sorry that you have found yourself here after the operation on your vocal chords at such a young age. I read about Julie Andrews who found herself in the same position after a long career singing which was what defined her. She said that what saved her was finding a new career writing children’s books. As others have suggested look for another avenue to express your creativity. Playing a musical instrument as Nicky suggested seems like a wonderful idea for someone who is so interested in music.

Unfortunately many of us have to adjust to a slightly different way of life and sometimes are unable to do some of the things we did before. It takes time to adjust but you do get there.

I did not have the same cancer as you but cancer of the jaw which has its own challenges. However I am living life to the full and enjoying every moment.

Don’t despair hang in there as things definitely improve.

Sending you warm hugs.

Lyn

Hi Hazel, thanks so much for your reply. Sounds like you had quite the ride with it all and it's great to hear you're now out the other side and living your life! 

Great advice about staying off Dr Google too - thank you xx

Thanks so much for your reply Dani. I will ask my S&L therapist about this certainly.. At present she's pretty certain what I'm experiencing is 'psychogenic aphonia' which is total loss of voice after experiencing trauma. I think I have a long road ahead but got to keep the faith that my voice will come back. Beth xx

Hi Peter, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It's very comforting to hear from others who have been through something similar. 

It's been pretty awful I can't lie, losing my voice has been the hardest part of it all. I started training as a singer at the age of four. I'm doing my best to hold on to the hope that it will one day be back - my speech therapist thinks I'm experiencing psychogenic aphonia, which is the total loss of voice after experiencing trauma. Fingers crossed this is the case and not physical damage after my two surgeries, and if so it would mean there's a good chance it could be back. 

For now, the sun is shining and blue sky here in London so there's something to smile about Beth xx

Hi Nicky, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply - thank you! I really felt for months (whilst of course knowing that I wasn't) the only person in the world who was experiencing this or similar, so finding this forum was very comforting. 

I started a new job a in March, a job I really wanted - and on my third day I received the dreaded call to say "your biopsies have come back and you need to come to hospital" (which of course you know immediately means "you have cancer!"). I was booked in quickly for surgery, took two weeks off to recover and have been back at work since - technology and emails has helped me immensely to communicate so I totally understand. 

The tenor recorder sounds great, I'm glad you are still about to enjoy music in that way. For me it's piano - my playing has improved immensely since the loss of my voice, so there's one positive I suppose  Beth xx

Hi Lyn, thank you so much for your reply. 

I didn't know that Julie Andrews wrote children's books after her surgery. I have a few other creative outlets which keep me going - I make handmade earrings, and play piano. Nothing is ever quite the same for me as singing (I started training as a singer age 4) so it's really been an enormous part of who I am.. but I'll keep doing my best to take joy in the other things and keep hoping that one day my voice will return.

Really sorry to hear about your cancer, it sounds like you had a terribly difficult time - but I'm so happy you are back to enjoying life again! I saw on your profile you mention St Michael's Mount - I'm Cornish (living now in London), but my Dad and his partner have recently bought a run down old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere just outside of Penzance. You can see St Michael's Mount from the window of the kitchen. Next time I'm there I shall give it a wave for you Beth xx