Feeling depressed

Hi Billy

What you've been through sounds awful. Is there any counselling available through your GP?

Macmillan offer free counselling through BUPA. You could look on this link  Counselling

They also set up Telephone buddies so that you have regular contact. Look HERE

Is there a Maggie's anywhere near you? Here is a list of Their Centres  Or you could see if there is a local Macmillan Support Group

To get you started there is an excellent essay by psychologist Dr Peter Harvey from Leeds Cancer centre. Have a read of it and maybe print some copies to give out to friends and family. I found it really helpful and gave lots away to my family

Dr Peter Harvey

I hope some of this helps and I really hope your team can do something to make your life more comfortable. 

Stick around here too. There's lots of good advice . There's one particular lady who has had extensive surgery and I'm sure she won't mind me tagging her Sophie66

Finally, it's always worth getting a second opinion from another cancer centre, perhaps one that specialises in jaw surgery. Maybe they can help improve things.

Best wishes 

Hi Billy

sorry to hear its been so bad. Try the counselling on the link from Dani- it really helped me (literally just updated my blog to include that section before popping on here). Not this time! - Macmillan Online Community The Peter Harvey article is also good at helping understand the slow path out of this. Thankfully I get barely any pain from the cancer treatment, but I have developed RA at the same time, so understand a little about having to get through each day in constant pain, it is exhausting. 

Hope you find a way through it!

Gill

Hi Billy

I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time at the moment. It definitely takes a while to adapt to the change in your life and it is still early days for you. The big operation you had and then the radiotherapy can take a while to get over but hang in there as it does get better over time in my experience.

As Dani mentioned I have had extensive surgery to my jaw over several years so I understand what you are going through. I have had 3 operations a partial mandibulectomy in 2013 when part of my lower right jaw was removed followed by radiotherapy. I then had a left maxillectomy in 2019 when my upper left jaw was removed and I had an obturator to replace the teeth and cover the hole in my palate. I also had radiotherapy after this operation. I then had a right maxillectomy in 2021 when I had the other side of my upper jaw removed and then had a skin graft to cover the hole in my palate as the obturator was no longer viable. I had already had my quota of radiotherapy so that was a relief as I could not have any more.

I am currently waiting for some reconstructive surgery when I will have a metal prosthesis attached to my cheeckbones and have teeth attached to them which hopefully should make a big difference to my current look and help with eating.

After the first and second operation I did get very down for a while as I found the change in my life hard to adjust to initially. It is a shock after being very healthy to get cancer . My life wasn’t supposed to go that way but it did. However, with the help of my supportive family, my wonderful surgeon and my G.P. I got through and came out the other side. I came across this forum after my operation in 2019 and have found the support that I have received from the members invaluable. It is so helpful being able to talk to people who have gone through similar issues and it made me feel much less isolated.

Dani has given some great advice and I hope that you can find some help with the ideas she has suggested.

It definitely gets better over time. In between operations I live my life to the max and don’t take anything for granted.

Best wishes to you during your ongoing recovery. Reaching out to this forum is a great place to start.

Lyn

Wow Lyn my heart goes out to you,after reading your email it hit home on so many levels,I was so healthy when I went in and yeah this shouldn’t happen to me as I’ve got so much left to do in my life,I hate feeling like this and it feels like I’m in someone else’s body,when I look in the mirror I don’t see billy anymore and I miss that billy,and yeah I’ve had 2 operations and still need one more for skin grafts so onward I go,

thank you for reaching out to me means a lot you sound like such a brilliant women,I’d love to meet you one day if your ever near blyth northumberland gis a message well thanks again and hold tight erything will be ok

Billy peake

Hi Billy

Life can certainly throw you some curve balls. I decided that the best thing I could do was adapt to it and move on with my new life. It did take a while though. I hope now that anything that comes my way I can handle it but who knows. I am going to do my best.

You will get there too.

I found making small goals really helped me. I am now 10 weeks out of my last op and decided I really needed to work on my stamina. I have found that the local council runs a gentle exercise group which includes walking and an exercise circuit suitable for my abilities. I have joined and am looking forward to improving my stamina so I don’t get breathless when I walk up a hill. My long term aim is to try and get back to my former fitness level prior to my second op.

That is such a nice invitation to catch up but unfortunately I live in Australia so it would be a long commute. We do have a Cancer Council but it does not have a dedicated head and neck forum, it is very general. It was so great when I accidentally found the Macmillan forum. It has been such a lifesaver for me.

Wishing you all the best and do keep in touch.

Lyn

Lyn.....you surely deserve some success at getting up those hills. Your indomitable courage is a beacon of strength for others. you know. Never mind feeling lucky you found Macmillan.....we are jolly lucky to have found you. Hugs xxxx

Hi Dani

That's so nice of you. Thanks so much.

Sending  warm wishes right back to you.

Lyn

xx