Last Thursday my Uncle, 71, and I were told that he had cancer of the mouth. This was following his biopsy 2 weeks earlier. They had no other details for us as he hadn't had his MRI or all the tests they needed. This has happened over the last week. Today we were told it is bad. My Uncle was told that they may consider surgery - dependent on what the anesthetist says - but this will involve removing half of his tongue, reconstructing with flesh from his chest. cut him from ear to ear as the cancer is also in his throat combined with radiotherapy. They told us that he wont even be able to eat or drink ever again. They are also not sure if he will be able to talk again either, we do have an appointment booked with the speech therapist booked in. It was a heart breaking appointment. My uncle actually fainted. Not sure he is going to have the operation, even if he is well enough. The really sad thing is he isn't poorly. He says apart from the constant sore tongue he feels fine! What a decision to have to make. A life of not eating, drinking or even talking, also apparently his shoulders may loose muscles due to the neck - or just ride it out and die anyway. I am heartbroken for the poor man. God knows what he is going to choose to do.
Very sorry to read this, all sounds overwhelming but I've had some of that stuff, or similar, so maybe I can break it down a bit for you.
On my second diagnosis I was told I'd probably lose some of my tongue but in the operation this proved to be not needed, I did however need to have my throat completely rebuilt with chest tissue. It was always likely that I'd totally lose my voice and that turned out to be the case (which I now live with quite happily) and they said "the aim" was for me to eat and drink again, and I was able to do six months post-op. Have they said his ability to eat/drink will definitely go? From what you describe his operation sounds like a radical neck dissection; it will be "ear to ear" if it's both sides (mine was right sided only) but it's really not as serious an op as it sounds, it's actually pretty routine for the guys that do it and I'm not sure why that alone would stop him eating, though obviously his team know better than I. I lost movement in my right shoulder, it's the spinal accessory nerve that often gets damaged, but I've lived with that for eight and a half years and I don't even think about it now, also my right side jugular vein was "sacrificed".
In all honesty the radiotherapy would probably be the toughest thing to get through, but get through it people do.
I'm sure you're both in a very dark place at the moment, and he's lucky to have you by his side, but take time to get full facts; it's very difficult to take in to start with. These guys are so good at what they do, don't despair and ask anything you like on here; loads of great people offering support.
Wishing you both all the best.
Metastatic SCC diagnosed 8th October 2013. Modified radical neck dissection November, thirty-five radiotherapy fractions with 2xCisplatin chemo Jan/Feb 2014. Recurrence on larynx diagnosed July 2020 so salvage laryngectomy in September 2020.
