Sinus cancer - Grandmother's terminal diagnosis and recent passing

Hi RMorri and welcome to the community. So sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Head and neck cancer is still quite rare and sinus cancer even rarer so hold onto that. What you're feeling is quite Ok and normally some bereavement counselling might be in order but we don't live in normal times and GP access is difficult. 

Might I suggest some alternative.

This community has a bereaved section. You might find it useful to post your feeling there to talk to others who feel the same

Bereaved Family and Friends Forum

Have you a Maggie's centre anywhere near you? Many people find chatting to folk there can help them come to terms with a loss and other feelings of uncertainty

You can find a centre near you here Maggie's

It may be that you might need medical reassurance that you are well but honestly it's so unlikely that you have cancer.

I hope you can find some solace in what I've said and best wishes

One of my parents died from motor neurone disease, the other from sepsis. Both conditions frighten me very much.

I used to worry whenever my hands felt a bit weak, as that was the early sign for my mother, but  it hasn’t happened. In reality I got a head and neck cancer which has been successfully treated.

I completely understand how traumatic it is seeing a beloved family member with a horrible terminal illness, but there isn’t actually any logic that means the same will happen to us.

I still hope that I will die peacefully in bed in my nineties surrounded by family. It’s as possible as any other outcome, so I’ll concentrate on that.

My advice is to enjoy life and not waste time worrying about a disease you are very, very  unlikely to ever get. I know it’s easier said than done when you are still grieving for your grandmother and how she suffered, but it’s an attitude that I’ve cultivated, even though I know that there is a chance of my cancer recurring.