Advanced nasopharyngeal cancer

Hello Tabs, I thought I'd pop a reply on just to welcome you.

It sounds as if your poor mum needs some palliative support so I hope you are getting as much help as you can. I know GPs and District Nurses do provide excellent services if you can get them on board as soon as you need them and there is also hospice care whether residential or at home.

I haven't had this cancer but there a some people here who have. All of them as far as I can remember are having or have had treatment. There are also a few members who have nursed a parent through a terminal illness and I'm sure will come on to give you some advice spiritual and practical

There is also the  Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum you might like to visit. Just click on the link in red

Best wishes

Hi Tabs9, welcome from me and sorry you find yourself here.  I was primary carer for my uncle who had a nasal cancer.  That was treated and then a few years later metastasised into his throat and was then on palliative care.  In the end that was not what killed him, but none the less I recognise what you describe in your Mother as probably being the latter stages of life.  I am so sorry. 

Try to get the GP on board and see if there is any hospice care available.  This can be "hospice at home".  Getting them involved will make things much easier for you.

I am not sure it will get worse quickly, although refusing fluids will cause the body to shut down in days rather than weeks.  That said, I think from my experience it will seem very drawn out to you.  The body is resilient even at this stage of life and seems to go on well past our expectations.  Do everything you can for her and value the times when you can still chat and make memories.  These will be precious in the future as this process is not pleasant and I still remember my mother in a similar position nearly 15 years ago, but balance that with happy memories.

My thoughts are with you.

Hi TabsD

I'm so very sorry to read about your mum.

My father in law, Neri, was 93 when he was diagnosed with head and neck cancer.  He decided to go through major surgery but the cancer was too advanced so it was unsuccessful.  In retrospect it would have been better for him not to have gone through such traumatic surgery, especially at his age, as it weakened him drastically and certainly led to an earlier death.

Neri lived with us when he was discharged from hospital and we cared for him until he died.  It's a very tough and upsetting time.  

Do contact the GP.  Ours was really helpful in arranging a District Nurse and aides to help Neri around the house.  Plus he initiated getting the Macmillan nurses in to administer greater pain relief towards the end. The GP may also be able to guide you with hospice care. 

Like Peter, we really valued the last few weeks with Neri and although it was a horribly painful experience we're glad we did everything he wished for and he was surrounded by the love of his family.

My thoughts are with you.

Linda x

Thanks you! We had a call from the palliative team and they made some referrals and the GP finally visited today too. Just hope the pain is managed.

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Thank you for the reassurance Peter. We will keep the fluids up